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‘For Whom the Wedding Bells Toll’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: For Whom the Wedding Bells Toll

525. For Whom the Wedding Bells Toll

Aired May 15, 1995

Will gets cold feet ahead of his wedding to Lisa. Meanwhile, Vy (Vernee Watson) and Lisa's father, Fred (John Amos), get off to a rocky start.

Quote from Lisa

Lisa: What was that all about?
Will: Nothing. Jazz just messing with me. Talking about I don't know my baby. Like how much you love sweet potato pie.
Lisa: Baby, I hate sweet potato pie.
Will: You playing, right, girl? You so silly. No, next you gonna be telling me you ain't love Shaft in Africa.
Lisa: I don't.
Will: You sat through it like nine times.
Lisa: For you, baby. But personally, I think the guy's a lowlife slug whose whole sexual identity is an extension of his big, stupid gun.
Will: Anything else?
Lisa: I think he's gay.
Will: Ah! Ah!

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Quote from Will

Will: Mamma, no!
Vy: Will.
Will: [screams]
Vy: Will.
Will: [sobbing] You, him, here. Oh, I need a moment. I'm an adult. I can handle this. I'm okay. Mamma, no!
Fred: Will, will you keep it down?
Will: I'm not ready to talk to you yet, young man.

Quote from Vy

Will: What are you doing here already?
Vivian: She wanted to come a day early to surprise you.
Vy: But my flight was a disaster. When I changed planes in Cleveland, they sat me next to this loudmouth chunky butt who fell asleep on my shoulder. Then when I tried to move him, he had the nerve to call me a battleaxe and say I stole his blanket.
Vy & Fred: [in unison] You!
Will: Hey, hey. Chunky butt, meet battleaxe. Battleaxe, chunky butt.

Quote from Will

Will: So did pops-in-law settle in yet?
Lisa: Yes, he did. Baby, do you think that my dad is gonna get along with your mom?
Will: I don't know. Can he take a punch? [laughs] I'm kidding, I'm kidding. No, seriously, can he?

Quote from Ashley

Ashley: I don't care what you say, Hilary. I am not wearing this disgusting bridesmaid's dress.
Hilary: Oh, but, Ashley, you look adorable. Right, Will?
Will: Oh, yeah. You look like a chocolate-flavored Pepto-Bismol.
Ashley: That settles it. I am not wearing this dress unless I can have a matching bag.
Hilary: No problem.
Ashley: To put over my head.

Quote from Vy

Will: Okay. Come on, Ike and Tina, let's go. All right. Now, listen. You guys go ahead to the restaurant you hold the table. Lisa and I will catch up in a minute. And, Mom, could you try to be nice?
Vy: I always am, dear. [to Fred] Okay, tubby, tuck in your gut, we're going downtown.
Will: In Philly, "tubby" mean cute bald man.
Fred: Just don't be late. You might find her face-down in the crab cake.

Quote from Jazz

Will: Oh, man. You took your gold tooth out. What's the occasion?
Jazz: The wife and I are split up. Inconsolable differences.
Will: Oh, Jazz. I'm sorry, man. What happened?
Jazz: Marriage, my brother. I mean, the minute the ring went on, the mask came off. And so did the weave.
I realized I married a perfect stranger. And tomorrow it'll happen to you too.
Will: Oh, no, man, trust. I know the woman I'm about to marry.
Jazz: That's what I thought. Soon after, I realized I didn't know Hortense at all.
Will: Hortense? Jazz, I thought her name was Jewel.
Jazz: Just one of her many lies. Man, I found out she slept with every guy in my building.
Will: She had sex with all of them?
Jazz: She did? Man, it just gets worse and worse.

Quote from Will

Will: Jazz, I'm real sorry about you and Hortense but trust me, I know my woman. Better than I know the back of my own hand. What the hell is that?

Quote from Lisa

Lisa: Will, what is wrong with you?
Will: One more thing. Your name is Lisa, isn't it?
Lisa: Well, it is now. I just couldn't go through life hearing people say, "Hey, Beula."

Quote from Will

Vivian: What happened? I heard screaming.
Carlton: What's this, a pajama party? Hey, scooch over.
Hilary: What is going on? Ew.
Ashley: Hey.
Will: Okay, that's it. Everybody out. Everybody out. Right now.
Philip: Move it, Ashley.
Will: Okay, Mom, I just wanna say that I am hurt. And I don't think that mothers are supposed to do what... Oh, my God, I just got a mental picture! Get out! Get out!

Quote from Vy

Vy: Good morning, baby.
Will: Listen, Mom, about last night...
Vy: I know, sweetheart. And I hope I didn't spoil your wedding day.
Will: No, Mom, that's what I wanna talk to you about. Now, in a minute, we gonna be moving to the church.
Vy: You're right. You know, I need to find my earrings.
Fred: Oh, I know where they are, baby. You left them on top of my... Maya Angelou's book of poetry. Come on, I'll show you where they are.

Quote from Philip

Will: All right, Uncle Phil, I need to talk to somebody!
Philip: I'm listening.
Will: All right, maybe later.
Philip: I said I was listening. But I got a million things to do, so hurry up.
Will: Okay, okay, cool. Remember when you said we was too young to get married? Remember when I told you mind your business, I know what I'm doing? You remember how wrong I always am?
Philip: Will, I know you're nervous. It's perfectly normal. Every man gets cold feet. It's coded in our DNA. I'll tell you what you do. You're gonna be fine. Just go in there, say I do, be done with it. You feel better?
Will: Well-
Philip: Good.

Quote from Nicky

Will: Hey, Nick, you got a second, man? This wedding stuff is really stressing me out.
Nicky: Tell me about it. I've got to balance a ring on a stupid pillow.
Will: Hey, you wanna talk about it?
Nicky: No.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Well, this is it. It's all she wrote. Last chance for gas. Last train to Clarksville. Last of the Mohicans.
Will: You know, as hard as this is to believe, I'm gonna miss you.

Quote from Vy

Fred: Not so fast, Will. Vy, I always thought that a man only got one chance at happiness. And then I met you. We met at 10,000 feet in the air. And I promise you, baby, if you marry me neither of us will ever come down. Vy, will you be my wife?
Vy: Yes, Fred, I will.
Fred: All right.
Vy: If If my son will give me away.
Will: No. No, Mom, no. Absolutely not. You said that me and Lisa were rushing too fast. Y'all gotta take some time to think about this.
Fred: The boy's right. We should think about this.
Vy: Yeah.
Fred: Did you think about it?
Vy: Yeah.
Fred: Me too. Let's get married.
Will: Whoa, wait. Hold up. Wait a minute. Y'all need to take some more time.
Fred: Boy, I ain't got that much time. I'm getting old. Now move.

Quote from Will

Will: Whoo-hoo! Check it out. Two days before the wedding and we already got gifts. I got to marry Lisa more often.
Nicky: Wow, this is just like Christmas.
Will: Well, ho, ho, ho. Oh, man. [glass shattering] What do you think was in that one?
Carlton: Something that has to be returned.
Will: Oh, lookie here, lookie here. All these cute little money-sized envelopes. [laughs] Oh, oh. Boom-ba-yah! [laughs] Whoo! My favorite wedding guest. Ben Franklin. Oh, excuse me, Ben. Allow me to show you to your seat. [pats back pocket]

Quote from Will

Hilary: The wedding's in 48 hours so I need your final decision on the centerpiece. Sweetheart roses or baby tulips?
Lisa: Roses.
Will: Tulips.
Lisa: Tulips.
Will: Roses.
Hilary: Can't you two ever agree on anything?
Will: We can always agree on... [kisses Lisa]
Hilary: Oh, rent a room.

Quote from Will

Will: Get off of me, woman! Come on. What would your daddy say?
Fred: He'd say, you ain't fooling nobody.
Lisa: Hey, Daddy.
Fred: Hey, baby.
Will: What's up? How was your flight from Cleveland?
Fred: Oh, it was terrible. I got stuck next to this battleaxe who kept trying to steal my blanket when I fell asleep.
Will: Oh, man, I know how you feel. Lisa do that to me all the time. Man, just last night, we... Did you hear that? Just... In the other room. Did you? You wait here. We gonna go and check.

Quote from Will

Lisa: Baby. What are you doing?
Will: Oh, I'm just practicing for the honeymoon night. Yo, bellhop! If the room be bopping, don't you be knocking.

Quote from Will

Geoffrey: I don't know what he's complaining about. I like my women scrappy.
Will: Look, G, check this out. Me and Lisa ain't even going to the restaurant. We figure, if we leave them there by themselves they'll have to work out their differences. Sounds like a plan, right?
Fred: [o.s.] Will you wait till I get in the car? [car roars off]
Will: I didn't say it was a good plan.

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