Angie Barnett: Why is it every time I leave the room, you guys do this?
Kelso: It's Thanksgiving. Some people bake pies, we bake ourselves.

Angie Barnett: What is all this? What happened to the Soft Rock section?
Hyde: I put it in the alley. See, that way, if somebody comes in asking for Barry Manilow, I can send him outside and lock the door.

Eric: Look, my whole life, I've been trying to please other people. So I feel like I don't know who I am or know what I want to do with my life.
Red: You need a government job, like a mailman. Something simple and repetitive.
Kitty: No, no, no. You know he doesn't do well in snow. What about this? Margie's son is a chiropractor, and she seems very happy.
Eric: I just... I don't wanna wake up in five years and hate my life.
Red: That's unavoidable.
Eric: Okay, I just need more time to think.
Red: You know what I got for my 18th birthday? A draft notice and a malaria vaccine. I never had time to think.
Eric: Yeah, but, Dad, don't you think it would've been helpful if you did?
Red: All right, I'll tell you what. I'll give you six months. But if you haven't picked something by then, you'll do that chiropractic thing that your mother suggested.
Eric: Dad, I... I don't even know what that is.
Kitty: Oh, honey, it's perfect for you. It's like a doctor but you don't have to be as smart.

Eric: Hey, guys, I got something really different planned for Thanksgiving. But instead of telling you about it, I'm gonna let it wash over you.
Jackie: But, Eric, maybe you can let some soap and water wash over you. 'Cause since you've been out of work, you're a little bummy.
Eric: [sings along with tape] Welcome to the grand illusion Come on in and see what's happening Pay the price Get your tickets for the show
Donna: Is that Styx?
Eric: [talks] And they just announced a concert Thanksgiving night. Now, if we camp out for tickets, by tomorrow we could be watching five guys in spandex suits shaking their hair sweat on teenage girls.
Hyde: Forman, even if I liked Styx, which would mean I was born without ears, I still can't go. My dad wants me and Angie to open the record store by midnight tomorrow.
Kelso: Oh, man, Angie is so pretty. You know, looking at Angie is like looking at something else pretty.
Eric: Well said. Donna, you in for Styx?
Donna: Eric, I'm a deejay. I can't be seen at a Styx concert. It's in my contract.
Eric: Well, Fez, what do you say, my man from another land?
Fez: Eric, where I come from, we have a saying. Yuck, Styx.

Hyde: All right, guys, we got a ton of boxes to unpack, posters to hang. So let's hit it.
[circle:]
Hyde: I love hitting it.
Jackie: I love that you taught me to love hitting it. You know, this is the first time we've ever hit it at... Hey, this place doesn't have a name yet.
Donna: You should call it Hot Wax Records but with a "Z." Recordz. Z's are so rock 'n' roll.
Hyde: Funk Man's House of Funk. Funk Man's Funky House of Funk. Funky Man's Funky House of Hitting It. You guys writing this down or what?
Jackie: Steven, that's too complicated. You need something that sounds hot and upscale. You should call it Jackie.
Fez: If you wanted hot and upscale, you should call it Dijon Mustard.
Kelso: What about, like, Head Food? Headsies, The Head.
Donna: That's kind of cool. The Head.
Jackie & Hyde: The Head.
Fez: The Head.
[circle ends]
Angie Barnett: I smell something burning.
Hyde: That'd be us. Oh, man, we just came up with the best name for the record store. It's, um...
Donna: The Funky Mustard House.
Jackie: I thought we settled on Jackie.
Kelso: I just had it and then it popped out of my head.
Fez: That's it. Poppers.
Angie Barnett: This is a chain. All the stores are called Grooves.
Hyde: Oh, that's why we have that sign. All right, well, let's call it a day and hit it hard again tomorrow. Good work, everyone.

Eric: Oh, my God! Did I miss it? Are there any tickets left?
Clerk: Black Sabbath's been sold out for weeks.
Eric: No. Styx. I prefer a more lush, orchestral sound.
Clerk: Yeah, well, you're the only one.
Eric: Just give me the damn ticket.

Angie Barnett: Steven, this store is very important to me. When I was eight years old, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "A record store." You know what I got? A pony. What eight-year-old girl wants a damn pony?
Jackie: You know, one year I asked for a damn pony and got a car.
Angie Barnett: I just want this store to be great.
Hyde: Yeah, well, I think this pit makes the store great.
Angie Barnett: Really? Did you go to business school?
Donna: Well, he did a lot of business at school.
Hyde: Fine, I'll get rid of the pit, but I want that entire wall covered in Zeppelin.
Angie Barnett: We can't. You know that research paper that I gave you that you probably smoked? Well, it says that Zeppelin scares people over 30.
Hyde: Good, because people over 30 don't listen to music. They move to Florida to play golf.

Kitty: [basting turkey] I wish someone would rub my shoulders like this.
Eric: Hey. Whatcha cooking, good-looking? Guess who got a ticket to see Styx in concert tonight?
Kitty: Tonight? Honey, it's Thanksgiving.
Eric: Yeah, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Mom, this ticket was really hard to get.
Kitty: Was it harder to get than the holiday traditions this family has built through decades of love and sacrifice?
Eric: Much harder. Thanks for understanding.

Red: There's my beautiful bride. I'll be in the garage.
Kitty: Red. None of the kids are coming for dinner tonight. Laurie's in Canada, Steven has his store, and now Eric is going to a concert. There's no point in me even making my special yams.
Red: What? Kitty, I love those yams. They're among the top three reasons I married you.
Kitty: Well, I can't make them if I'm sad.
Red: Look, I'll tell you what, you get started on the yams and I'll go talk to Eric.
Kitty: Thanks. [chuckles] Gosh, my shoulders are sore from all this cooking. Think you could rub them a little?
Red: Kitty, it's Thanksgiving, not Christmas.

Donna: Styx, Kelso?
Kelso: All right, fine. I like Styx, okay? And I don't care if anybody knows it. That's not true. Don't tell anyone.