‘The Keg’
Season 1, Episode 6 - Aired October 25, 1998
After Eric and Donna cut class, they find a keg in the middle of the road and decide to host a party in the pool of an unoccupied house.
Quote from Eric
Donna: Will this day ever end?
Eric: Yesterday did. But today's Friday. So, no.
Quote from Kelso
Hyde: What are you guys doing in here?
Eric: I cut class.
Hyde: What, was there like a fire drill or something?
Eric: No, look, I do bad things. [all laugh] Look, I've ditched class before.
Kelso: Oh, is Opie getting angry?
Eric: What did I tell you about calling me Opie?
Quote from Eric
Donna: Opie, look out for that keg in the middle of the road! [tires screech] Wow!
Eric: It is a keg.
Kelso: Of beer.
Hyde: It must be a sign.
Kelso: Of beer.
Eric: Oh, that's it, I'm cutting class every day!
Quote from Midge
Midge: Ooh, Rich Man, Poor Man, I love it. I just hope I don't get too emotional.
Kitty: Oh, so do I. [giggles]
Quote from Kelso
Jackie: Michael, this is our secret make-out place. I did not swipe the key from my mother's real estate office so that you could have a party.
Kelso: I know it's like a bonus. And I'm doing it for you, baby.
Jackie: Oh. Okay.
Quote from Eric
Donna: Empty pool, empty house, full keg. You sure know how to show a girl a good time.
Eric: Yeah, well, I don't color outside the lines often but when I do, jump back, Loretta.
Quote from Jackie
Jackie: Okay. Hurry up and drink your keg.
Hyde: Hurry up and drink a keg?
Kelso: Jackie, will you just mellow out? I mean, this rules. We've got a keg, and soon everybody's gonna be here.
Jackie: Everybody?
Eric: Everybody who matters. And for the first time, Jackie, that includes you. [all hug Jackie]
Jackie: No, get away from me!
Quote from Eric
Fez: Welcome to the pool. I am your host, Fez. $2, please.
Jackie: What is going on?
Eric: I didn't want to tell you before but we've taken it upon ourselves to help your mom show off the house at $2 a head.
Quote from Hyde
Hyde: He's lying to Jackie, man. I lie to Jackie. You know, it seems to me that the scrawny little neighbor boy is willing to engage in criminal acts for that saucy redhead next door.
Donna: Shut up. How do you know he's not doing it to impress his friends? You know, peer pressure.
Hyde: Because his friends aren't saucy.
Donna: Kelso's saucy.
Hyde: Kelso? Please, I'm saucier than Kelso.
Quote from Eric
Donna: Wow, Eric, you just tore their money. And gave it back. That was great. That was awesome.
Eric: But enough of this levity, wench! [climbs the stairs] We came here to have a party and as God is my witness, there will be a party!