Kitty: Okay. Perfect. We're all set for turkey day. And there'll be plenty of room, especially without Laurie. Has anyone heard from her? Of course not! I guess respect and courtesy aren't genetic like my slim hips.
Eric: Hey, Schotzie, stay away from my witch sister. Her and her witch friends have been known to sacrifice small animals. Oh, and possibly that one asthmatic neighbor boy.
Kitty: Eric, little Wally moved away.
Eric: A six-year-old moved away? His parents still live in that house.

Eric: Man, all I did was mess up on two math quizzes but Ms. McGee has to be all- [whining] I'm Ms. McGee. I wear high heels and fail everybody.
Hyde: What's that?
Eric: That's Ms. McGee.
Hyde: You hardly changed your voice.
Eric: Well, sure, I did. [whining] I'm Ms. McGee.
Hyde: That's just your voice.
Eric: I'm doing an impression.
Hyde: Well, you suck at impressions.
Eric: Okay. Forget it.
Hyde: Are you still doing her?

Kitty: Okay, well, you know what? I'm gonna set you a place right next to me at the big table.
Red: No, Kitty. I think that seat belongs to Eric.
Eric: Me? At the adults' table? Are you sure I'm ready?
Laurie: But, Daddy-
Red: Maybe before you leave you'll be acting a little more like him.
Eric: Yeah. [laughs] I'm the favorite now. Ooh! Taste that.

Eric: Hey, Donna. You know how my dad's proud of me for doing so well in school?
Donna: Even though it's a lie, and you're failing math 'cause you spend all your time with me?
Eric: Yeah. Right. That's- That's right. Well, just now, right now, right in there, right now, Red asked me to sit at the grown-ups' table.
Donna: Wow! I hear each person over there gets their own biscuit.
Eric: Yeah. Donna, it's glorious. Donna. Donna, I want to tell everyone we're engaged. Tonight.
Donna: Tonight? Are you sure?
Eric: Yeah, I just- I just want everyone to know, you know? So when the moment's right we'll just... We'll tell 'em all.
Donna: This is so awesome!
Eric: And then, just in case, we'll run like hell.
Donna: I probably won't wait for you.

Fez: May I wet your whistle, grandpa?
Burt: Gonna have to say yes to that.
Fez: Well, cannot let this go to waste.
Burt: [to Laurie] When did they get a houseboy?

Kelso: Happy Thanksgiving, Mrs. Forman. This is my date Carol.
Eric: Ms. McGee? Kelso, you're dating my math teacher?
Mrs. McGee: No. No, no, no. We're not dating. We just have a relationship that I thought we agreed to keep a secret?
Kitty: Well, um, welcome. Michael, she is 10 years older than you.
Kelso: Oh, no, no. Nine and five-twelfths. [laughs] She taught me that.
Mrs. McGee: Very good, Michael.
Kelso: Thank you.
Kitty: Okay.
Eric: Kelso, how could you bring her?
Kelso: Oh, relax, man. She's not going to quiz you or anything. But if she does, the square root of zero is zero. She got me with that last night, earned herself a free massage.

Eric: Um, Ms. McGee, being that it's a holiday and all there are certain math-related failing-type things I'd rather not talk about.
Mrs. McGee: I hear you. There are certain things I'd like to keep quiet too. So if anyone from the school board should ask, I came alone, and I left before dessert. [exits]
Donna: Eric, maybe we should wait on the big announcement now that your math teacher is here.
Eric: Oh, no, Donna. We don't have to worry 'cause she's not my math teacher today. Today she's a cradle-robbing slut. [chuckles]
Donna: Yay, student-teacher relationships!
Eric: Yay!

Fez: Here you go. One for Burt and one for Ernie. I'm calling you Ernie now because you look like the Muppet.
Bob: I didn't ask for a drink.
Fez: Well, I didn't ask to be born in a field.
Bea: But you fought back against adversity just like your Indian brothers. What is he, Cherokee?

Eric: Well, I'm really glad that my family's here and my friends and, well, even my math teacher. Because, uh, something happened a few days ago that I'd like to share with everyone.
Mrs. McGee: Eric, we agreed this isn't the time.
Eric: No. No, I meant-
Red: Not the time for what?
Fez: To talk about how he's failing math.
Red: What?
Eric: Fez, what the hell?
Fez: I've been drinking.
Mrs. McGee: Mr. Forman, you did sign the failing notice.
Red: I didn't sign- You forged my name?
Laurie: Wow. I really picked the right day to come home, huh?

Red: So you lied to me about school.
Eric: Now, it wasn't a lie so much as a misdirection, really.
Red: We'll talk about this later. Well, Laurie, looks like a seat just opened up for you. Come on over and grab a biscuit.
Laurie: Forty-two minutes and I'm back on top.