Jackie: Oh, my God. I love champagne!
Fez: Yes. Was it any good?
Jackie: Great. Just great. [gasps] Hey, Fez, I just made up a poem. Do you want to hear it?
Fez: Okay.
Jackie: There once was a guy named Fez who had a really cute butt. Ta-da!
Fez: Well, I have to say I don't hate it.

Jackie: Hey. Psst. Fezzie, do you want to know a secret? If you try to kiss me right now, I probably wouldn't stop you. [giggles] In fact, I'd probably let you do more than that. [giggles]
[An imaginary Fez dressed as Batman appears above his right shoulder]
Batman Fez: Fez. Good God, man. Don't do it. She is drunk.
Fez: But, Batman, she is so hot.
Batman Fez: But she's drunk. There is no honor in this.
[An imaginary Fez dressed as the Riddler appears above his right shoulder]
Riddler Fez: Ah, screw honor. Take her pants off.
Fez: Ay!
Batman Fez: Riddler, nefarious fiend. Don't do it, Fez. It's a trap.
Riddler Fez: Riddle me this, Fez. Why would Jackie ask you to make out with her if she didn't want you to?
Fez: Seriously, he makes an excellent point.
Batman Fez: It's the dastardly alcohol talking. If you and Jackie get together, you want it to be real, not like this. Honestly, I was rooting for you but imaginary Batman makes a lot of sense.
Riddler Fez: Then riddle me this. What does Batman know about girls? Slides down a pole and lives with a teenage boy. Enough said.
Fez: Okay. Now I have to say, advantage Riddler.
Batman Fez: What are you trying to say, Riddler?
Riddler Fez: I think you know what I'm trying to say. Ooh-la-la.
Batman Fez: Oh, you want to go, question dork? Oh, bring it on, bat-wuss.
[Fez's head rattles after the two figures jump into his head through his ears]
Jackie: So... are you gonna kiss me, Fez?
Fez: No, I am sorry, Jackie.
Jackie: That's okay. You still have a very cute butt.

Fez: So, who will Jackie choose as her roller disco partner? Who, who, who?
Hyde: No freakin' way.
Fez: Hmm, how very sad. [sighs] No one to disco with. Now, where did I leave my potato chips? Oh, there they are. [dances across the room] Look at that. I left my soda back in the other side of the room! [dances across the room] Refreshing. God, my arm is sore! [makes disco pose]
Jackie: Wow, Fez!
Kelso: Oh, come on, Jackie! You're gonna pick him over me? All right. Watch this.
[Kelso groans as he falls down behind the couch]
Fez: Jackie, I'm just a roller disco machine and I don't work for nobody but you. [Kelso groans]
Jackie: Okay. Okay, fine. We'll be partners. But hear me now. I want first prize. If I lose and some stupid, spoiled rich girl wins I'll scream.
Kelso: [o.s.] I am really hurt.

Donna: Oh, my God. I think Jackie and Fez are next. Look, there they are.
Kelso: Hey! The next contestants are cheaters. The brown guy is a robot.
Donna: Robot? Shut up.

Kelso: Boo! Boo! - Boo! Oh, no. They were good. I swallowed my marble.

Jackie: I'm so sorry I doubted you. You- You are my hero- my- my hunky, sexy, foreign skating hero!
Fez: And you are my- my spoiled, whiny skating princess.
Jackie: Oh, Fez, thank you!

Jackie: Kelso, you booed us the entire time.
Kelso: What? No! That was some rude guy. So I popped him one, and then I was goin', "Ooh," because I hurt my hand when I popped the rude guy. So... you're welcome. You wanna kiss it?
Jackie: Let's go, Fez.
Fez: Hmm.
Donna: Come on, Kelso. Look at the bright side.
Kelso: What's the bright side?
Donna: The bright side is there isn't one. Fez has Jackie, and you have to squeeze out that marble.

Donna: Come on, Kelso. So Jackie likes Fez. Big deal. You're going out with Laurie.
Kelso: I know. It's just, you know seeing her with another guy just made me remember all the good times we had together and it just made me sad.
Donna: Yeah. Come here. You know, Kelso, I guess underneath it all... you're kind of a good guy. Sometimes. Sort of. Things'll work themselves out.
Kelso: Yeah, I know.
Donna: What the hell are you doing?
Kelso: We can't fight these feelings anymore, Donna.
Donna: What?
Kelso: What? We've been doing this dance all night and, oh, God, I'm tired of dancing.
Donna: You moron!
Kelso: Nobody likes a tease, Donna! I'm sorry. You're not a tease. Come back. Tease! I'm sorry. Donna!

Eric: I guess "violent" is the wrong word but, you know, it's definitely some kind of rage. Although, I mean, you know, Earl had it coming. I love you, Daddy.

Earl: [enters] Oh, hey. Sorry I'm late.
Mediator: An hour and 10 minutes late. I can only assume you're Earl.
Earl: Yeah. So, um, sorry... My, uh, dog got hit by a... a guy in a...
Red: Car?
Earl: [snaps fingers] Thanks, Red. So, what'd I miss?
Mediator: You missed everything. Okay, I'm not gonna lie. Mr. Forman, you- you scare the living hell out of me. No offense.
Red: None taken.
Eric: That's kind of his thing. [laughs]
Mediator: But, Earl, in light of your failure to show up for your own hearing we have no choice but to rule in favor of Mr. Forman.
Red: Yes, sir!
Eric: Way to go, Dad!
Earl: Damn dog.
Mediator: And Mr. Forman, even though this hearing did go your way today, in light of some of your son's responses, I would strongly encourage you to go to anger management classes.
Red: [smiles] Sure, I'll- I'll do that.