Fez: So you're telling me that if I showed up at someone's house and say, "Trick or treat," they'll give me a free piece of candy?
All: Yes!
Fez: Oh, I don't believe you.
[cut to:]
Fez: Trick or treat. An apple? Where's my candy, you son of a bitch?

Fez: Uh, yes, excuse me. Um, would you please send your finest imported beer to Caroline and tell her that when I said "Hi" what I meant was, "I'll take you like a stallion." You got that? Like a stallion?
Jackie: Fez, stop ordering stuff.
Fez: Okay, you need to chill out, little girl. Didn't you hear Kelso? The Vineyard is having a dine-and-dash promotion. Everything is free.
Jackie: It's not free, Fez. "Dine and dash" is when you run out without paying.
Fez: So it's stealing? This isn't going to help me with Caroline, is it? Excuse me.
[After Fez whispers to Donna, she whispers to Eric, who gives Kelso a "wet willy"]
Kelso: Hey!
Fez: That's from me, you son of a bitch.

Bob: How you doing, kid?
Donna: Fine. I don't know. Scared.
Bob: Just know that whether you're pregnant or not, you're still my little girl. I support you.
Donna: Thanks, Dad.
Bob: But if you are pregnant, don't let Red touch the baby. He thinks he's tickling, but he just pokes. Trust me, I know from experience.
Donna: Well, Dad, maybe Red wasn't trying to tickle you. Maybe he was trying to poke you.
Bob: Why would Red poke me?
Donna: Why would he tickle you?

Kelso: What would a French girl do that an American girl would think is gross?
Fez: It could be anything. They eat snails.
Eric: Hey, maybe it's foot stuff.
Hyde: Foot stuff? What would you do to a foot?
Eric: I don't know, like, lick it or something?
Hyde: What is wrong with you?
Kelso: What are you, some kind of foot-licker?
Eric: No! I wouldn't lick. I would get licked. Oh, God! Why did I say that?

Bob: Well, Donna, I think you're too young to be a mother, so here's what we do. Tell the kid you're his sister, Midge and I are the parents, and when he turns 18, tell him we lied. Probably get a good chuckle out of the whole thing.