Red: Laurie, you're not driving the Vista Cruiser. It's old and undependable. It could break down and you'd be at the mercy of any maniac who came along. It's okay for Eric, but you're taking the Toyota. Oh, and, um, here's $20.
Laurie: Will that cover gas?
Kitty: Oh, well, it should. Honey, give her another $10, just in case.
Eric: You know, I could probably use some gas money.
Red: [chuckles] Yeah, and if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when he hops.

Donna: [to Eric] Well, you're getting a party. And best of all, it's a surprise.
Kelso: I just realized, Donna's older than you.
Donna: Only by a month.
Fez: Good for you, Eric.
Eric: Good for me, what?
Fez: In my country, it is good luck to fall in love with an older woman.
Eric: Fez. Fez.
Fez: No, they come with livestock.

Eric: Look, I know money is tight, so I don't want a big birthday.
Red: I'll decide when money is tight. Now, what kind of gift do you want? Don't worry about the cost. As long as it's reasonable.
Eric: Okay. I would like a cassette player for the car. A cassette. Not an eight-track. No eight-track, okay?
Kitty: You know, I don't know why they don't just put record players in cars. [giggles]
Eric: The point is, I don't want an eight-track tape player.
Red: Then you won't get one.
Kitty: Oh, but, honey, he wants one.
Eric: No, I want a tape player, just not an eight-track.