Nurse Thomas: You know, your mom does the work of five nurses. This place would fall apart without her.
Nurse Philips: And she's so funny!
Eric: Yeah, she is. Wait, no, she's not.
Nurse Thomas: Oh, yeah. And she draws these funny cartoons. See? Now, I warn you, it's a little racy, but...
Kitty: [grabs piece of paper] Oh, honey, you don't need to see that. It's just, a certain body part has been shoved up another body part for comic effect. So, um, have you met everybody?
Dr. Ashley: Nurse Forman, I just talked to the lab. Why didn't you bring down that blood sample?
Kitty: Uh, because you didn't give it to me?
Dr. Ashley: I most certainly did. [Kitty removes a vial of blood from his lab coat pocket] Well... Next time I have something to give you, you tell me. [walks away]
Kitty: Will do.
Nurse Philips: What is his problem?
Kitty: Well, you all know my theory. [nurses laugh as Kitty holds up her drawing]

Hyde: Edna.
Edna Hyde: Steven.
Hyde: Fez, this is- This is my mom.
Fez: Nice to meet you, Mrs. Gross Edna.
Edna Hyde: No, no, no, honey. It's Miss Gross Edna. You see, Mr. Gross Edna ran off with Miss Perfect Ass.
Hyde: [laughs] But she can laugh about it now.
Edna Hyde: Oh, yes, she can. Shut up.

Edna Hyde: Steven, you can start by slicing pizza.
Hyde: No, no, no. I'm here as an observer. A fly on the wall. One of many.
Edna Hyde: Gee, what a surprise. Lazy, just like your father.
Hyde: No, actually, I'm lazy in a way that's entirely my own.
Fez: You two are hilarious.
Edna Hyde: Here, put these on.
Hyde: I'm not wearing these.
Edna Hyde: Well, sorry, don't blame me. It's the stupid- [coughs over the pan] Those health codes.

Kelso: This is so cool. My dad's office. Dad's desk. Dad's phone, ding-ding. My dad. Yeah, I love this.
John Kelso: Yeah, Michael, this is where all the magic happens.
Kelso: Okay, let's get started. Question number one: "What's your job?"
John Kelso: I'm a senior executive, statistical analysis technician.
Kelso: You're a senior execu-what?
John Kelso: Well, in plain English I concatenate diverse statistical information to maximize the potential utilization of data.
Kelso: So you give people data?
John Kelso: [laughs] You know, a lot of people think that. No. My job's not about output, it's about throughput.
Kelso: So you throughput data?
John Kelso: Well, now you've lost me, son. Oh, listen, Michael you know the eight-tracks you love so much?
Kelso: You make them?
John Kelso: No. But because of us, other people who make them are able to make them better.
Kelso: So you fix stuff?
John Kelso: You could say that. But I wouldn't.

Kitty: Good morning! This is my son. He's making my rounds with me. Now, you let me know if this gets to be too much for you.
Eric: Okay, Mom, I think that I can handle it- Oh, good God! What is that?

Kitty: Remember this the next time you want a skateboard.

John Kelso: All right. This is the performance index before my involvement. And this is after.
Kelso: Okay, okay. So, you're responsible for this.
John Kelso: You can't credit me with that. That's probably a statistical anomaly.
Kelso: But you made the chart, right?
John Kelso: Oh. [scoffs] I wish.
Kelso: So do I.

Dr. Ashley: All right, let's start Mr. Harris on a full course of penicillin.
Kitty: Oh, um, Doctor, you might want to consider erythromycin.
Dr. Ashley: And why would I want to do that, nurse?
Kitty: Well, it's just that, Mr. Harris is allergic to penicillin and I thought erythromycin might make him a touch less dead.
Eric: I know that when I go to the hospital, I like to not die.

Kelso: Okay, do you have customers?
John Kelso: No, they're more like clients.
Kelso: But you have clients?
John Kelso: Sort of.
Kelso: And you provide them a product?
John Kelso: It's more like a service.
Kelso: A service?
John Kelso: Well, not-
Kelso: To maximize the potential utilization of the data?
John Kelso: If we did that, we'd go out of business.

Jackie: Okay, I'm not sure, but I think I found the u-joint.
Red: God bless you, Jackie.
Jackie: Okay, I'm going back in.