Eric: Hey, Dad, I was wondering if you could show me, like, a few fighting moves.
Red: Who are you planning to fight?
Eric: David Milbank.
Bob: David Milbank? He's got scoliosis and asthma. You could take him.

Jackie: So, what do you want to do tonight? Oh, and if you say, "see Star Wars again," I'm leaving.
Kelso: You don't want to leave. You want to see Star Wars.
Jackie: Stop it! I have had it with you. You are weird and I'm going home!

Laurie: Oh, boy, that's terrible the way she treats you.
Kelso: Right?
Laurie: You know, I saw Star Wars and I'm not a movie expert, but I think it's safe to say it was the greatest film of all time.
Kelso: Finally someone who understands!
Laurie: Yeah. You know, Kelso, I always thought you were kind of dumb.
Kelso: Uh-huh.
Laurie: But I don't care. [kisses Kelso]
Kelso: You know, I don't either.

Donna: Stop it! Eric, for the last time David has no interest in me whatsoever!
David: Yeah, I do.
Donna: What?
David: Why do you think we've been spending so much time together?
Donna: 'Cause we're friends?
David: Come on, Donna. I mean, I've talked to you I've listened to you, I've shared ideas with you. What's that about?
Eric: I had the exact same problem with-
Donna: What?
David: I don't know what it takes with women. I mean, you put in all this time and effort, and they wanna be...
Eric & David: Just friends.
Eric: I know. I hate that. Man, and to think I was going to kick your ass.
David: Hey, you had every reason.
Eric: You hear that, Donna? "Every reason."
Donna: You know what, Eric? You don't trust me and you don't respect me.

Eric: Hey, Dad, can I talk to you?
Red: Absolutely.
Kitty: Eric, I am very, very disappointed in you for fighting.
Eric: I'm sorry.
Kitty: It's okay. [grabs Red's ass] See you in the car.
Eric: Where are you guys going?
Red: Oh, taking your mother out for dinner and a movie. A little celebration. You know, son, sometimes life gives you a good bounce. So, what'd you want to talk about?
Eric: Um... Have a good time.
Red: Oh, yeah.

Laurie: Hey, little brother, I made out with Kelso.
Eric: Shut up!
Laurie: What is wrong with you?
Eric: Everything's wrong. Donna's mad at me and the plant's closing, Dad's out of a job.
Laurie: Oh, wow. Guess this is a bad time to tell him I flunked out of college.
Eric: You know what, Laurie? I cannot believe that you're the favorite.
Laurie: Yeah, doesn't it kick ass?