Garrett: Hey, what's up, skinny?
Mateo: What?
Garrett: You look like you lost like, 20 pounds or something.
Mateo: Okay, you obviously want something from me, but I still like it.
Garrett: You know, I was thinking, since you're so close with Erick, if you wouldn't mind introducing me as a friend.
Mateo: Wait, you want me to be your wingman for that middle-aged guy in Crocs who I've had one conversation with?
Garrett: Hey, look, hey, all you need you to do is set it up, and I'll knock it down.
Mateo: What is that? Is that a black thing? Can I start saying it?
Garrett: No, it's bowling.

Jonah: [British accent] You're turning violet, Violet.
Amy: [British accent] But Daddy, I want an Oompa-Loompa now.

Glenn: I am not trying to shame anyone, but I need you to move out of this aisle. Please?
Sandra: Pretty please? With a cherry on top and rainbow sprinkles?
Glenn: Or chocolate, you choose, whatever you want.
Dina: Oh, you're pathetic. I can't believe I'm having your baby.
Glenn: My... what?
Sandra: What?
Dina: You're pa-the-tic.
Glenn: No, no, no, no, I know that. What about the baby?

Mateo: Um, set them up and knock them down?
Garrett: Soap. [exhales]
Mateo: Soap.
Erick Evans: So, this is... this is cool. I'm so glad we're doing this.
Mateo: Yeah, it's... it's very cool.
Garrett: No, it's not cool. Normally I'm the cool guy. They call me the Samuel L. Jackson of this store.
Mateo: Who calls you the...
Garrett: But for some reason, around you, and I don't know what it is, because you're just some guy who stands in a booth and does a bunch of silly voices, so I don't know why you think you're so great.
Erick Evans: I don't... I don't... I never said that.
Garrett: You know, I met Scott Bakula at an Outback Steakhouse, and it was smooth sailing. And that guy, he quantum leapt. Or leaped, or whatever it was. I don't care, because I'm cool. You're not better than me! So enjoy losing another DICE award to Troy Baker. Jerk. Taurus-driving loser. [exits]
Mateo: I mean, the sad thing is, he is the cool one.

Jonah: Oh, no. It's over, huh?
Amy: Yeah. It's fine, I made too big a deal out of it.
Jonah: Oh, okay, then I guess you won't want this.
Amy: [gasps] What? How?
Jonah: I bribed some kid with a couple of cans of that malt drink. He was a bigger kid, so I think his heart can handle it.
Amy: Jonah, thank you! Oh, my God, I can't wait to decapitate somebody.

Dina: Ugh. I can still smell them. It's like Cool Ranch and scrotum. Hey, Rodriguez, pay attention, I'm talking. What, have you got a crush on Jonah or something?
Amy: Yeah, I think I do.
Dina: [retches] It's the smell. It's not this.

Amy: What is that voice?
Jonah: I'm sorry. I never pass up an opportunity to do a character.
Amy: No.
Jonah: That's when I shine.
Amy: That is not okay.
Jonah: I was shining.
Amy: No.

Glenn: So, apparently, what's happening is called a nurse in. It's meant to promote breastfeeding rights.
Earl: Wait, so they're going to be doing this in public? That's gross. [all groan] All I'm saying is that, from a hetero male perspective, the female breast is a beautiful thing. And when we see milk squirting out of it, it's a real boner-killer.
All: Oh, my God.
Garrett: I just want everyone to know that I do not agree with this guy.

Dina: We allow breastfeeding, so why are they protesting?
Glenn: No one knows. Yeah, women are crazy.
Sandra: Well, it might be because...
Glenn: Shut up, Sandra. No one knows, so why don't we just move on?

Amy: [sings] ♪ I'm a jalapeño I'm a jalapeño ♪
Jonah: All right, jalapeño, your border tunnel caved in.
Amy: Oh, come on.
Jonah: Move back two spaces.
Amy: There is just no way to win this game.
Jonah: Sorry, jalapeño.