Garrett: Does that look like a piece of a butt to you guys?
Jonah: There's a lot of butts on the Internet. Have you tried looking there?
Garrett: It's too easy. I like the hunt.

Amy: I feel like I know this girl. Or maybe she worked here.
Garrett: Oh, yeah, she does look familiar. I was just focused on the neck down before, so...
Amy: Hey, Tate, do you recognize this girl? Like, maybe she worked here in the last ten years or something.
Tate: Hm. Oh, yeah, was the the one on Fluoxetine? No. That was Carol. Oh, maybe lithium. No. No, that was also Carol. Yeah, Carol is what we in the medical profession call a... [blubbers] Cuckoo.
Amy: You can just say no.
Tate: Yeah, no, I don't know her. Ooh, hey, let me know when you need, uh, refills on that skin stuff.
Amy: Um, no... you were thinking of Carol. He's thinking of Carol.
Garrett: Mm.

Jonah: So, what's going on? What's up?
Glenn: Um... uh, nothing. Well, I was just about to eat lunch.
Jonah: Oh, no kidding, I was just about to eat my lunch too at, uh, 10:30. How 'bout we, uh... How about we eat together, you know?
Glenn: You wanna eat lunch with me?
Jonah: Yeah! Yeah, it'll give us a chance to talk, you know, get to know each other. It'll be fun.
Glenn: Okay. Let me... let me just finish this coffee.
Jonah: You know, you don't have to finish that.
Glenn: No, I love it.
Jonah: If... if you don't, it's not gonna offend me.
Glenn: I just wanna get it over with.

Amy: Okay, try Veronica Harris. She quit in 2011.
Garrett: Veronica Harris. Oh, no, it's definitely not Veronica.
Amy: Oh, Veronica. How is she doing?
Garrett: Prison.
Amy: What? Another one went to prison?
Garrett: Yeah, we're kind of a feeder.
Amy: Ugh, okay, um... try Robin Sanders.
Both: Ooh, no.
Garrett: Not Robin. Meth hit her hard.
Amy: God, why do people do it?
Garrett: My guess... it feels incredible.

Bo: So I'm, like, thinking, like, I wanna learn about all this, you know what I'm saying? You know, like, the cameras and the locks and the alarms and all that.
Dina: Fellow security buff, huh?
Bo: Yeah.
Dina: Ha, who knew? Here I thought you were nothing more than a worthless dirt bag.
Bo: Nah, I contain multitudes, yo.

Jonah: Hey, you wanted to see me?
Glenn: I just talked to corporate, and they said as long as I don't give you a raise of any kind, I can make you my assistant. Now we get to hang out all day.
Jonah: Uh, this is a shock.

Amy: So are you his assistant now forever?
Jonah: No, no... no... no, just, like, until Kristen and I break up.
Amy: But what happens if you guys get married?
Jonah: Oh, well, then... well, then, uh... I guess until Glenn dies.

Dina: Only about half the cameras work. The rest are just deterrents. But the thieves don't know where the blind spots are.
Bo: Oh, he's totally packing, right?
Dina: Oh, no, no, Reggie can't hold an actual weapon. And as a matter of fact, between you and I, he's almost completely blind.

Jonah: [clears throat]
Glenn: We're probably gonna have a lot of inside jokes, aren't we?
Jonah: Yeah.
Glenn: Yeah. What do you think our first one should be?
Jonah: I'm gonna go to the men's room.
Glenn: Me too! Look at this. Our cycles are synching up already.

Glenn: Hey, what do you think about going to a baseball game with me this weekend?
Jonah: Yeah, that... I'd love that.
Glenn: Yeah?
Jonah: Yeah. Of course, you know, the other employees might think that you're playing favorites, so...
Glenn: We don't have to tell them.
Jonah: Right, but then it gets, you know, even weirder, because it's like... now we're lying, so it'd be... it'd be a whole thing, trust me.
Glenn: Yeah, you're probably right. Boy, when you finally go, it's really gonna be something, isn't it?
Jonah: [sighs] Yeah.