Cheyenne: What do you think?
Mateo: I look terrible.
Cheyenne: Oh, I...
Mateo: No, I mean, I look... terrible. Like, exactly like Sal.
Cheyenne: Oh!
Mateo: You're a genius. Well I mean, not literally, but you know. Well done! [looks in the mirror] One ticket to Manila, please. I'll probably just buy it online.

Kelly: You seem good.
Jonah: [sighs] I am. I had a bar this morning with like 20 grams of protein. Might have been a little too much.
Kelly: No, no, listen to your body.
Jonah: Yeah.
Kelly: Oh, my gosh, be careful. Let me help you.
Jonah: Oh, no, no, I'm fine. I'm stronger than people think.
Kelly: Yes. You are so strong. And I also think you are so brave.
Jonah: Thank you.

Cheyenne: So you'll have to do the make-up yourself for the trip back. Or you could just stay like this the whole time.
Mateo: [to a young woman] I wish I could wear your skin.
Cheyenne: What was that?
Mateo: What? I was just saying she had really great skin.
Cheyenne: Huh.
Mateo: What?
Cheyenne: You know how, when a person dresses skanky then they start acting all skanky, but then you put that person in fancy clothes and they act like super British?
Mateo: Uh-huh. Sure.
Cheyenne: So maybe being in creep-face is making you act like a creep.
Mateo: [laughs] That's stupid. Mmm. I just think it feels really good and firm on my tongue.

Amy: Okay, if I rotate Jonah on four-hour shifts, and I keep Kelly on the loading dock, then I think I can make it so that they never see each other.
Garrett: I don't feel so good. The candy corn is fusing itself back together in my stomach.
Amy: Is that your second bag?
Garrett: Mm-hmm.
Kelly: [o.s.] Why did you lie to me?
Jonah: [o.s.] I don't know what you're talking about, Kelly!
Garrett: There's a 1% chance they're talking about something else.

Mateo: Okay, here. Take it. Destroy it, douse it with holy water, and set it on fire.
Cheyenne: What about the wedding?
Mateo: I'm not going, okay? It's not worth it. I don't like what's happening to me. I need to wash this all off before it's too late. This happened to my uncle once.

Amy: Well, yep, you guys... you got me. But to be fair there are a lot of stabbings in this store.
Jonah: Yeah, you know honestly, you really committed. I'm impressed. I was almost scared.
Kelly: Really? Aw. Thanks. I watch a lot of Lifetime movies.
Jonah: Well, I'm gonna go wash all this blood off... is a weird way to leave a conversation.

Amy: Hey, listen. I just wanted you to know that I was really not trying to make fun of you. It was an accident.
Kelly: It's okay. I mean... really I should have known it was from a girl. Guys never text that much.
Amy: I know, right? [Kelly laughs] I just, like, couldn't stop.
Kelly: Yeah.
Amy: I was like, "Aah."
Kelly: A lot of verbs.
Amy: Well, thank you for being cool about it.
Kelly: Yeah. I mean, if anything, I should thank you. You kind of helped me break the ice.
Amy: Oh. Oh, good.
Kelly: Oh, gosh, and I just... I really wanted to tell you that... I love Selena Gomez.
Amy: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Jonah!
Amy: Next.
Glenn: I need your help.
Jonah: Okay, uh... Can... can I just get my phone?
Amy: Oh, no I'm still playing.
Jonah: Right. But it's not a game so... [tries to grab his phone]
Amy: Mine.
Glenn: Jonah, you can live without your pager for five minutes. Now!

Amy: Wait, this one's just a picture of Margot Robbie. Are they allowed to do that?
Garrett: Mm.

Woman: Excuse me. We agreed on a kitty cat.
Cheyenne: She is a kitty cat. An undead one.
Mateo: Duh.