[Mateo is posing as an exterminator]
Mateo: Oh, okay, NBD. Just a few roachies. [screams when he sees a cockroach] I mean, ah. Come at me, bro.

Amy: Hey, Dad, you know, Jonah is a real art lover.
Ron Sosa: Oh. Oh, really?
[cut to:]
Ron Sosa: Powerful, aren't they?
Jonah: Yeah... yeah, yeah, you have a... a real eye for composition.
Ron Sosa: They're celebrities.
Jonah: Yeah. Yeah, I caught that.
Ron Sosa: I knew you'd appreciate them.
Jonah: Yeah...
Ron Sosa: Pick your favorite one.
Jonah: Oh, me? No, no, no. Come on, I couldn't.
Ron Sosa: No, no, no, I insist. I don't have room for them anyway in the new place.
Jonah: Oh, okay, thanks. Um, yeah, I'll... I'll take, you know, Putin.
Ron Sosa: Why?
Jonah: Well, I... that's just because... I mean, I... I'll take any of them.
Ron Sosa: No, no, no, no, fine. You want Putin, take him.
Jonah: Thank you. This, uh... this mean a lot.
Ron Sosa: Let's say, um... $30 sound fair?
Jonah: Yeah... yeah, $30's... $30's cool. $30's good. Yeah.

Glenn: Oh, what's going on here?
Sandra: Garrett didn't just find a dog. He found a veteran's dog.
Old Man: Thank you. You're a hero.
Garrett: Oh, no, sir, thank you. You're the real hero here.
Old Man: You are.
Garrett: Well, okay, I'll take it.
Glenn: Maybe we all are. All of us are heroes.

Amy: Okay, I will order pizza, and we will keep packing until it gets here.
Connie Sosa: Pizza? This is our last meal in this house. We can't just eat junk out of a cardboard box?
Amy: I mean, we could.
Connie Sosa: I'll make tamales.
Jonah: Ooh, that sounds good...
Ron Sosa: Oh, yeah.
Jonah: But so does pizza.
Amy: Mom, we don't have twelve hours for you to make tamales.
Connie Sosa: I'll hurry. I just have to find that steamer.
Amy: Mom, please, no. Don't... do not open that... I just packed... I can't.
Ron Sosa: Jonah, I'm feeling like $30 was a little low.

Amy: But the worst part about the chanclas is if you duck the first one...
Both: There's another one.
Amy: Exactly.
Jonah: Right.
Ron Sosa: [enters] Hon, would you like two or three tamales? What the hell are you doing with my daughter?
Jonah: Whoa, whoa.
Ron Sosa: I'll kill you.
Jonah: No, no, no, no, no, sir. No, not... it's not...
Ron Sosa: I'm kidding. Look at him freaking out.
Amy: It's still hilarious, Dad.

Amy: This is never gonna get done. I'm so sick of having to do everything for them.
Jonah: Then don't.
Amy: Come on.
Jonah: No, I-I-I mean it. What... what would happen if you just left right now?
Amy: Then I would be the one who had to deal with the consequences.
Jonah: No, you would be the one who decided to deal with the consequences, instead of just letting them deal with it. I'm just saying, it's not your responsibility to make sure that everything goes well for everybody else.
Amy: Yeah. You're right. They're grownups. They'll figure it out. Okay. Great, let's get out of here.
Jonah: Okay, let's go. Oh, like tha... Oh, like, out that way?
Amy: Oh, yeah, I'm not dealing with my cousins. It's like non-stop Dr. Evil impressions.

Woman: Excuse me, do you have anymore bug bombs in back? There's only one left, and I have to do my whole house.
Dina: Oh... One's all you need for a house. Three of them would fill a Scottrade Center.

Glenn: You really schlonged me with this whole dog scam.
Garrett: Well, that's a low blow. But since I'm a man of... [gasps] Integrity, I'm gonna let it slide.
Glenn: Why are you doing this? You- You- You don't even care about this award.
Garrett: Why do you assume that I don't care? One time I do a good deed, I'd like a little recognition. I like plaques. I got walls.
Glenn: Are you crying?
Garrett: Yeah! I got feelings, too, although not such strong feelings that I should be crying. That's weird.

Jonah & Amy: [sing] ♪ In daylight, in sunsets ♪ ♪ In midnights, in cups of coffee ♪ ♪ In inches, in miles ♪ ♪ In inches, in smiles ♪ ♪ In laughter, in strife ♪
Jonah: Smiles and strife.

Glenn: [crying] I'm sorry. I just feel terrible.
Garrett: I feel sick. I feel sick.
Glenn: Yeah, as boys, we're told to keep our feelings inside. But this is good. I'm crying, you're crying. And... And my nose is bleeding, and your nose is bleeding.
Garrett: What?
Glenn: Oh.
Dina: [over PA] Code Orange. This is a Code Orange toxic event. Everyone evacuate the building.