Mateo: What are you doing here?
Jeff: Oh, uh, there was a stabbing at the Kirkwood store. Well, that's boring, but, you know, I'm in town till tomorrow, so, you know, I'm free tonight if... I know it's last-minute, but...
Mateo: Please, last-minute is fine. It's not like I'm one of those people who can't go on a date unless he, you know, works out and waxes and plucks and bleaches... got to plan at least two or three outfits.

Glenn: You have to stop harassing the customers.
Dina: I will not apologize for my commitment to our customers' safety.
Glenn: Dina, don't make me have to...
Dina: What?
Glenn: What would you do if you were me?
Dina: Oh, Glenn, if I was you, I would've killed myself years ago.

Jonah: Funny, I've never been, uh... never been assigned here before.
Cheyenne: Hmm.
Jonah: Jewelry's a real can of worms in terms of feminism, you know? [chuckles]
Cheyenne: Uh-huh.
Jonah: This is great. This is great, us working together. I feel like we never really had the chance to... to... to bond, really.
Cheyenne: Yeah, totally. [awkward silence]

Dina: At 8:24, a crate of irregular produce was put in the cage to be returned to fulfillment and destroyed. Now it's missing.
Jonah: I'm sorry. Irregular produce? You mean rotten?
Dina: No, what I'm talking about is lumps, bumps, extra appendages, apples that look like pears, pears that look like guavas.
Jonah: So we're just throwing away perfectly good food because it's ugly?
Glenn: Looks matter, Jonah. You should know that, being the prettiest person in here.

Dina: So, Amy Dubanowski. Perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect Amy Dubanowski.
Amy: Why would I steal a crate of fruit?
Dina: I don't know. I mean, clearly you've been having trouble making ends meet, neglecting your personal hygiene, the old clothes, busted-up shoes, the ratty hair, hints of meth mouth.
Amy: Okay, I'm leaving.
Dina: Uh-uh, you're not going anywhere until you answer all of my questions. Did you take the fruit?
Amy: No.
Dina: Then you can go. By the way...
Amy: What?
Dina: That headpiece looks great on you.
Amy: Oh. Thank you.

Dina: I can't help but notice that you're sweating. Got any secrets you'd like to share?
Mateo: [covers mouth] No.
Dina: You know, some thieves have a tell... like talking with your hand over your mouth.
Mateo: Oh. [bares teeth] Okay.

Dina: You don't have the courage or the intelligence to have stolen anything.
Sandra: Then why are you even talking to me?
Dina: I just wanted you to know that.

Cheyenne: Maybe you put the fruit somewhere and forgot. One time, I texted Bo that I couldn't find my phone, and then he's like "Hey, dummy, what are you texting me on?" And I'm like "Oh, yeah, right. Goofy face emoji."

Garrett: Hey, man, if Dina asks where I am, cover for me.
Jonah: Why? What's going on?
Garrett: Between us, I can't be around Dina in that costume. It's like, my rational brain says that's the same crazy fascist that physically removed gum from my mouth, but my caveman brain says, "Hey, man, boobs." It's very confusing.
Jonah: You could just not look at her...
Garrett: Have you seen my eye line? It's unavoidable.
Jonah: Fair enough.
Garrett: Just keep it on the DL.
Jonah: All right, I got you, son.
Garrett: Oh, God, don't say that.

Glenn: What? Look how dim it is. What is this, a nightclub?