Mateo Quote #53
Quote from Mateo in Halloween Theft
Mateo: What are you doing here?
Jeff: Oh, uh, there was a stabbing at the Kirkwood store. Well, that's boring, but, you know, I'm in town till tomorrow, so, you know, I'm free tonight if... I know it's last-minute, but...
Mateo: Please, last-minute is fine. It's not like I'm one of those people who can't go on a date unless he, you know, works out and waxes and plucks and bleaches... got to plan at least two or three outfits.
Superstore Quotes
‘Halloween Theft’ Quotes
Quote from Dina
Dina: Today is a high-alert day. I can't stress enough the importance of being vigilant and cautious in light of the serious threats we'll be facing.
Glenn: [dressed as a hot dog] Dina's right. So everybody keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. Okay? Good.
Dina: Let's watch out for people buying toilet paper, eggs, shaving cream, ketchup, your squeezables, your squirtables... everything is a weapon today, okay?
Garrett: What about guns?
Dina: Those are fine.
Quote from Dina
Dina: Ma'am, you realize that candy from strangers can contain razor blades and heroin needles, right?
Woman: I'm sorry?
Glenn: Dina, again, I did not put heroin needles in the candy.
Dina: I'm not saying you did. I'm just saying, best-case scenario: Free chocolate bar. Worst-case scenario: Trainspotting.
Woman: Okay. Thanks anyway.
Dina: That's what I thought.
Quote from Cheyenne
Amy: So, who took it? [silence] Come on, guys. No one's perfect. I used to shoplift from the mall all the time. Mostly black lipstick. I was going through a phase. But we all do things we regret.
Jonah: So... I'm not even a member of the Sierra Club. I just put the sticker on my bumper.
Janet: I don't pay taxes.
Cheyenne: I catfished my school nurse, and she ended up moving to Australia to meet a picture of Michael Fassbender when he was young.
Amy: Okay, does anybody want to confess to taking the fruit?
Garrett: I have some questions about what Cheyenne said.
Amy: Fine. Forget it.
Cheyenne: She works at a smoothie stand on the beach now. I think she's happy.