Garrett Quote #141
Quote from Garrett in Halloween Theft
Garrett: Hey, man, if Dina asks where I am, cover for me.
Jonah: Why? What's going on?
Garrett: Between us, I can't be around Dina in that costume. It's like, my rational brain says that's the same crazy fascist that physically removed gum from my mouth, but my caveman brain says, "Hey, man, boobs." It's very confusing.
Jonah: You could just not look at her...
Garrett: Have you seen my eye line? It's unavoidable.
Jonah: Fair enough.
Garrett: Just keep it on the DL.
Jonah: All right, I got you, son.
Garrett: Oh, God, don't say that.
Superstore Quotes
‘Halloween Theft’ Quotes
Quote from Dina
Dina: Today is a high-alert day. I can't stress enough the importance of being vigilant and cautious in light of the serious threats we'll be facing.
Glenn: [dressed as a hot dog] Dina's right. So everybody keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. Okay? Good.
Dina: Let's watch out for people buying toilet paper, eggs, shaving cream, ketchup, your squeezables, your squirtables... everything is a weapon today, okay?
Garrett: What about guns?
Dina: Those are fine.
Quote from Dina
Dina: Ma'am, you realize that candy from strangers can contain razor blades and heroin needles, right?
Woman: I'm sorry?
Glenn: Dina, again, I did not put heroin needles in the candy.
Dina: I'm not saying you did. I'm just saying, best-case scenario: Free chocolate bar. Worst-case scenario: Trainspotting.
Woman: Okay. Thanks anyway.
Dina: That's what I thought.
Quote from Cheyenne
Amy: So, who took it? [silence] Come on, guys. No one's perfect. I used to shoplift from the mall all the time. Mostly black lipstick. I was going through a phase. But we all do things we regret.
Jonah: So... I'm not even a member of the Sierra Club. I just put the sticker on my bumper.
Janet: I don't pay taxes.
Cheyenne: I catfished my school nurse, and she ended up moving to Australia to meet a picture of Michael Fassbender when he was young.
Amy: Okay, does anybody want to confess to taking the fruit?
Garrett: I have some questions about what Cheyenne said.
Amy: Fine. Forget it.
Cheyenne: She works at a smoothie stand on the beach now. I think she's happy.