Mateo: Vendor, then item number, then delete. Allison.
Cheyenne: Uh, hey, Mateo. Um, you know how you've been helping everyone out... like, a lot?
Glenn: And you've really helped fill that Mateo-sized hole in the store.
Mateo: You guys, stop. I can't.
Cheyenne: What?
Mateo: It's too much. Okay, at first it was sweet, but now I'm just doing everyone's jobs for them and I'm not even getting paid. You took advantage of my greatest weakness... my enormous heart.

Dina: Shh... she's coming this way. God, I wish I could dropkick her dumb head. Colleen, hi! [hugs Colleen] Oh, my gosh, it's so good to see you. [whispers] Vomit. I am so sorry to hear about Bel-Ridge closing. Ugh, who knows why these things happen?
Colleen: Thanks, Deener. I appreciate that.
Dina: So whatcha doing here? You just pop in on your way to the unemployment office?
Amy: [laughs] Well, actually, uh... Fun surprise. Colleen has been transferred to here.
Dina: That... is a fun surprise.

Dina: Colleen Wisniewski! In my store. Why didn't you tell me?
Amy: I thought maybe you'd overreact a little bit.
Dina: Oh, I'm overreacting a lot. This will not stand! You have to fire her. She calls me "Deener," Amy. Deener.

Amy: Look, my hands are tied. She's been with the company a long time. Corporate wanted to relocate her. Besides, we kind of had something to do with the closing of Bel-Ridge, so maybe we should just be cool with it.
Dina: What and then just let Colleen be Colleen? I don't wanna be on that side of history. If you don't get her out of here, I will.
Amy: No, Dina, no. You will not. [clears throat] Or I will be forced to write you up.
Dina: Really?
Amy: In front of Colleen.
Dina: You wouldn't.
Amy: Try me.
Dina: What is this? Is this... is this you being firm?
Amy: [clears throat]

Amy: How was the union meeting?
Jonah: Well, uh, we learned that Sandra is walking down the aisle to "The Hamster Dance." Oh, and all the warehouse guys are out.
Amy: Wait, what? How are we gonna get any of the other stores to commit if we can't get our own people?
Jonah: Don't worry, I'm on it. I'll... I'll talk to them, get 'em back on board.
Amy: Oh. You know, I would never usually recommend this, but you should talk to Marcus. I don't know, for some reason they listen to him. I think it's 'cause he's tall.
Jonah: Is he tall? I guess I just never thought of us as tall...
Amy: Aww.

Garrett: Oh, hey, uh... Colleen, right?
Colleen: Yeah, Colleen. The one whose locker you were just in.
Garrett: Oh, that's... [chuckles] That's your locker. I thought it was mine.
Colleen: No, yours is the one next to you that says "Garrett" with the "Neon Genesis" sticker.
Garrett: Oh, anime fan?
Colleen: Mm-hmm. Also a fan of my locker.
Garrett: Sure, oh... you're gonna head in there right now?
Colleen: Mm-hmm.
Garrett: Yeah, of course. Your locker, go for it.
Colleen: [opens locker] Oh!
Garrett: I, um... I put a bunch of fish in your locker.
Colleen: Mm-hmm, yeah, I can see that.

Amy: Why, exactly, would you put fish in Colleen's locker?
Garrett: Because... I'm a bully and I think this totally nice and friendly lady should... quit.
Amy: You think that, do you?
Dina: Not cool, Garrett. She's a member of our family. Colleen, I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Colleen: It's really no big deal. I was just looking for some Lysol because the fish smell is escalating.
Dina: No, it is a big deal and frankly, he needs to be punished. I'm putting you on freezer duty.
Garrett: I don't know what freezer duty is.
Dina: Whatever, just go get in the freezer.
Garrett: Okay.
Amy: I'm so sorry, Colleen. I really hope Garrett doesn't do anything like this again.
Dina: So do I, but honestly this probably won't be the last time and it probably won't be the most fish.
Amy: It will be the last time.

Mateo: Aw, Sandra. [chuckles] Can't believe they got you in on this.
Sandra: Huh?
Mateo: Oh, this is so stupid. I mean, it's so bland. Like you've got the same color next to each other. Nothing's accessorized. [groans] It looks like a baby did this. You guys, Sandra? This is too much.
Sandra: I... I did my best.
Mateo: Oh, it's okay. I've got this.

Garrett: [over PA] Attention, shoppers, we have a sale today in our pets department, two for one goldfish. In sporting goods, fishing rods are fishy percent off. I think that's supposed to be 50. And finally... [Colleen encourages Garrett to continue] Come to customer service to get your pound of locker fish from me, Garrett the Fish McFish. Have a heavenly day. Very funny.
Colleen: You put fish in my locker, I put fish in your announcements.
Garrett: Fair enough. I'm... I'm sorry about that.
Colleen: Oh, it's no big deal. I can handle rookie hazing. And don't worry, I will get you your dead fish back ASAP.
Garrett: Well you know what, those fish are yours to keep.
Colleen: Aw, that's really generous.
Garrett: I have a big heart.
Colleen: I bet you do, but I am very worried that you might meet a hungry cat and need the dead fish, so... I should give you my number.
Garrett: I guess you could do that.

Garrett: You have to fire Colleen.
Amy: Garrett, I know Dina put you up to this.
Garrett: Yes, okay, Dina did put me up to that, but that's not what this is about. I think that there... I think there might be something there. Like... between the two of us.
Amy: How? You just met.
Garrett: She likes anime, okay? She made some jokes. I don't... I don't have a lot of boxes to check.
Amy: God... no, no, no. That can't happen. Dina would lose her mind. That would be bad for me, bad for the store, bad for everybody.
Garrett: Okay, well, yeah, I-I agree. That's why you need to do something. Can't you just transfer her to another store?
Amy: I mean, I guess I could call around, but it's not like there's that many empty spots. In the meantime, can you just not sleep with her?
Garrett: I... wish I could promise you that, but I couldn't stop myself from sleeping with Dina after I killed her birds.
Amy: Are you seriously saying you can't promise to not sleep with one of your coworkers?
Garrett: That's... that's pretty much what I'm saying.