George: What is this?
Kramer: Your cut of the loot. Stubs gave me 200 dollars for the autographed birthday card that was inside.
George: Who told you to sell the card?
Kramer: You did.
George: No, I didn't!
Kramer: Well, not in so many words but I believe we had an understanding. [winks]
George: I was not winking, you idiot. That was the grapefruit. It's like acid. I need that card back. It's Mr. Steinbrenner's. I was responsible.
Kramer: Well, Stubs already sold it to some guy who's kid's in the hospital .
George: Well, get it back! It's very important.
Kramer: Look, do you want me to get it back or not?
George: [holds eyes wide open] Get it back!

Elaine: Such a lovely table setting. Oh, wear did you get these napkins?
Holly: They're grandma Mema's.
Elaine: Oh, I don't remember them.
Holly: Oh, you wouldn't. She only used them on special occasions.
Elaine: Special occasions? It wasn't special when my family visited?

Holly: Everybody like mutton?
Jerry: Mmm. Mutton! Hope you didn't cut the fat off.

Kramer: Bobby, uh, what if I told you a very important person at the New York Yankees needed this card back?
Bobby: Oh, no. I'd never part with this card for anything in the world.
Kramer: Well, uh, Bobby, uh, who's your favorite Yankee?
Bobby: Paul O'Neill.
Kramer: All right. What if I tell Paul O'Neill to hit a home run tomorrow, just for you?
Bobby: Would he? Paul O'Neill would do that?
Kramer: For you he would.
Bobby: Would he hit two home runs?
Kramer: Two? Sure kid, yeah. But then you gotta promise you'll do something for me.
Bobby: I know. Get out of this bed one day and walk again.
Kramer: Yeah, that would be nice. But I really just need this card.

Helen Seinfeld: Jerry, I'm thrilled you like my mutton. I was afraid you only ate salads.
Jerry: Hey, salad's got nothing on this mutton.
Holly: That is so funny. Did you just make that up?
Jerry: I wish I could take credit for it. It's actually the line my butcher uses when we're chewing the fat.

Elaine: Down boy. Nice doggy. I'm a nice person. Don't believe what you hear.

Jerry: Elaine, what are you doing in this neighborhood?
Elaine: Did you hide with the dogs?
Jerry: Yeah, they're in the kitchen. It's okay. Quite! What's going on?
Elaine: Oh, God. These dogs were chasing me. And no cab would stop and I had to get off the street. Then I remembered that you lived here.
Jerry: Why were dogs chasing you?
Elaine: They just don't like me. It's a long story. You know, I can tell you about it someday but I can't tell you right now.
Jerry: I would ask you to stay tonight, but I only have the sofa bed and it's where I sleep.
Elaine: We'll have to sleep head to toe.
Jerry: Head to toe?
Elaine: Head to toe.

Elaine: My cousin Holly is completely insane. She keeps calling and accusing me of stealing her napkins.
George: Napkins?
Elaine: I mean, why? Why would I take her stupid napkins?
Jerry: Because they were in the pockets of my jacket.
Elaine: They were?
Jerry: Yes. I was using them to spit out the mutton.
Elaine: You spit it out? I had dogs chasing me for that. I was almost mauled because of that mutton.
George: What exactly is mutton?
Jerry: I don't know and I didn't want to find out.

Kramer: It's about a little boy in a hospital. I was wondering if you could do something to lift his spirits.
Paul O'Neill: Sure, I can help you there.
Kramer: Sure, well I promised you would hit him two home runs.
Paul O'Neill: You what?
Kramer: You know, [clock]. A couple of dingers.
Paul O'Neill: You promised a kid in the hospital that I would hit two home runs?
Kramer: Yeah, what no good?
Paul O'Neill: Yeah. No, that's no good. It's terrible. You don't hit home runs like that. It's hard to hit home runs. And where the heck did you get two from?
Kramer: Well, two is better than one.
Paul O'Neill: See, that's ridiculous. I'm not a home run hitter.
Kramer: Well, Babe Ruth did it.
Paul O'Neill: He did not.
Kramer: Oh, do you say that Babe Ruth is a liar?
Paul O'Neill: I'm not calling him a liar but he was not stupid enough to promise two.
Kramer: Well, maybe I did overextend myself.
Paul O'Neill: How the heck did you get in here anyway?

Kramer: It's hot in here. Hey, Bobby, can I have some of your juice?
Bobby: [guards his juice] After Paul O'Neill hits his first home run.