George Quote #1081
George: What is this?
Kramer: Your cut of the loot. Stubs gave me 200 dollars for the autographed birthday card that was inside.
George: Who told you to sell the card?
Kramer: You did.
George: No, I didn't!
Kramer: Well, not in so many words but I believe we had an understanding. [winks]
George: I was not winking, you idiot. That was the grapefruit. It's like acid. I need that card back. It's Mr. Steinbrenner's. I was responsible.
Kramer: Well, Stubs already sold it to some guy who's kid's in the hospital .
George: Well, get it back! It's very important.
Kramer: Look, do you want me to get it back or not?
George: [holds eyes wide open] Get it back!
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Wink’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Jerry: So where is my jacket?
Elaine: Oh, I must have left it at Jame's
Jerry: You spent the night at James's? Did we?
Elaine: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we reversed positions so there was no funny business.
Jerry: Reversed positions?
Elaine: Yeah, you know, head to toe.
Jerry: So what? Your genitals are still lined up.
Elaine: No, because I slept with my back to him.
[The guys say nothing]
Quote from Jerry
Waiter: Ready?
Holly: I'll have the porterhouse medium rare, baked potato with sour cream.
Jerry: What do you recommend besides the steak?
Waiter: The lamb chops are good.
Jerry: Anything lighter? How do you prepare the chicken?
Waiter: It's a full bird. Stuffed with ham, topped with gorganzola.
Jerry: You know what? I think I'll just have the salad.
Waiter: [gives Holly a look] Thank you.
Jerry: [inner monologue] Just a salad? Just a salad? Just a salad?
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: It seems like every morning when you wake up, it's like your being born all over again. You ever have that feeling? Because you can't see, you can't talk. You're on your way to the bathroom trying to remember, "How do I walk?" It's like you've never been alive before. But if any invention marks the decline of human civilization, I think it would have to be the snooze alarm. The snooze alarm is based on the idea that when the alarm goes off, you are not getting up. You're not even awake, you're already a failure. They should sell the snooze alarm with an unemployment application and a bottle of tequila. Just make it a "complete pathetic loser kit".