Morty Seinfeld: Well, go up to the office.
Helen Seinfeld: Up to her office?
Morty Seinfeld: Go to the building. She goes out to lunch, doesn't she?
Jerry: I guess...
Morty Seinfeld: So, you stand in the lobby, by the elevator, and wait for her to come down for lunch.
Jerry: You mean "stake out" the lobby?
Helen Seinfeld: Morty, that's ridiculous. Just ask Elaine for the number!
Morty Seinfeld: He doesn't want to ask Elaine for the number.
Helen Seinfeld: So you've got him standing by the elevator like a dope! What happens when he sees her?
Morty Seinfeld: He pretends he bumped into her!
Jerry: You know what? This is not that bad an idea.

George: What does she look like?
Jerry: I dunno. Hard to say.
George: What actress does she remind you of?
Jerry: Loni Anderson.
George: Loni Anderson?!
Jerry: What, there's something wrong with Loni Anderson?

Jerry: If I see her, what do I say that I'm doing here in the building?
George: You came to see me. I work in the building.
Jerry: What do you do?
George: I'm an architect.
Jerry: You're an architect?
George: I'm not?
Jerry: I don't see architecture coming from you.
George: I suppose you could be an architect.
Jerry: I never said that I was the architect. Just something else.

Jerry: Hey, hey. Pamela's birthday party, didn't I see you there? Jerry.
Vanessa: Sure! Hi!
Jerry: This is George. I'm sorry...
Vanessa: Vanessa.
George: Nice to meet you.
Jerry: Ah, Sagman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taff.
Vanessa: That's right!

Jerry: Y'know I'm sorry you had to leave so early the other night.
Vanessa: Oh, me too. My cousin had to go back to Boston.
Jerry: Oh, that guy was your cousin!
Vanessa: Yeah, and that woman was your...
Jerry: Friend!
George: I'll just, uh, get a paper...
Jerry: So, um, do you date immature men?
Vanessa: Almost exclusively.

Helen Seinfeld: Oh, Elaine called. She said she'd be here at 2:30. Oh, and she says "Hope your meeting went well with Art... Vandelay?''
Jerry: She said what?
Helen Seinfeld: Just what I said, here.
Jerry: She knows! Oh, I am such a jackass...
Helen Seinfeld: She knows what?
Jerry: She knows the whole stupid thing. Vanessa and the elevator.

Morty Seinfeld: So, what are you? Afraid of her?
Jerry: Yes. Yes I am! What else did she say on the phone?
Helen Seinfeld: Whatever I wrote down.
Jerry: Yeah, but what was the tone in her voice? How did she sound?
Helen Seinfeld: Who am I, Rich Little?

Jerry: "Quone"?
Helen Seinfeld: ...30...31...
Jerry: "Quone"? No, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to challenge that.
Helen Seinfeld: ...32...
Kramer: No, you don't have to challenge that. That's a word. That's a definite word.
Jerry: I am challenging...
Kramer: Quone. To quone something.
Jerry: Uh-huh.
Helen Seinfeld: I'm not playing with you anymore.
Morty Seinfeld: Quone's not a word...
Jerry: No good. Sorry. There it is. Get it off.
Helen Seinfeld: Why did you make me put that down?
Kramer: Nah, we need a medical dictionary! If a patient gets difficult, you quone him...

Carol: You want some funny material, you ought to come down to where I work, there's a sitcom!
Jerry: You must have quite a time down there. [checks his watch]
Carol: We got plenty of time...
Jerry: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just waiting for someone...
Mac: Watch what you say to this guy, he'll put it in his next act!
Jerry: Yeah, yeah...
Mac: Jerry, did I tell you that I'm writing a book? An autobiography.
Jerry: Yeah, Uncle Mac, you mentioned it.
Mac: It's based on all my experiences.
Jerry: That's perfect.

Jerry: How do you do, Jerry Seinfeld.
Elaine: Oh, how do you do. Elaine Benes.
Jerry: Um, do you want to do this now, or do you want to wait until we get in the car?
Elaine: Oh no, let's do it now.
Jerry: All right, the whole elevator business, let me just explain.
Elaine: Okay.