Mr. Pitt: [answers phone] Hello? [to Elaine] It's for you. Must you keep giving my number out?
Elaine: Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Pitt. Hello?
Noreen: Elaine? What is going on? Why did you tell Dan I was hitting on Jerry Seinfeld?
Elaine: Is this Noreen?
Noreen: What would ever possess you to make up a story like that.
Elaine: Well, listen, Jerry mentioned it, and, I don't know...
Dan: [takes phone] I think I deserve an explanation.
Elaine: Noreen, are you crying?
Dan: No, this is Dan!
Elaine: Oh, hi Dan.

Kristin: The card. Is this it in the trash?
Jerry: No?
Kristin: This is my card, you threw it away.
Jerry: Well-
Kristin: I put a lot of thought into this card.
Jerry: You signed your name and you addressed the envelope, it's not like you painted the picture and wrote the poem.
Kristin: Fine. I gotta get back to the office.
Jerry: Why, because I threw the card out? How long was I supposed to save it?
Kristin: You have no sentimentality.
Jerry: I have sentimentality, really, I'm sentimental. Here, look. Here's some cards I've saved. These are birthday cards from my grandmother. See, I'm not a bad guy.
Kristin: Oh, so you save her cards but not mine! Oh great!
Jerry: Well, but, you see, I saved something! See? I can save. I'll see you at the pledge drive, okay?

Jerry: So anyway, she's kind of upset about it, so I need you to do me a favor.
George: Let's have it.
Jerry: Well, I'm doing the PBS show, so during the show they're gonna be running the Ken Burns baseball thing. So I thought if I could get a baseball player to come on the show with me...
George: You want me to ask one of the Yankees.
Jerry: Could you?
George: All right. I'll run it by a few people.
Jerry: All right. Do your thing where you lie to everyone.

George: Who was flirting with you?
Jerry: Remember when we were in the bookstore, that woman came up to us?
George: She wasn't flirting with you.
Jerry: Oh, sure she was. Asked me where the humor section was? Humor? Come on.
Elaine: Jerry, her brother just had a book of political cartoons published.
Jerry: All right, so maybe she wasn't flirting with me. So what? [chuckles]
Elaine: Oh, yeah, that's funny.

Jerry: You got Danny Tartabull?!
George: You wanted a Yankee, I got you a Yankee.
Jerry: Boy, you really came through. Kristin's gonna be thrilled.
George: Hey, the Bull owes me one, I helped him with his swing.
Kramer: So you're bringing Danny Tartabull to the fundraiser tonight?
George: Absolutely. Pending approval of the script.
Jerry: Excuse me?
George: Jerry, I'm Yankee management.

Kramer: Yeah, I'd like to see the script too.
Jerry: You're just answering phones!
Kramer: It would put me at ease.

Uncle Leo: [on the phone] Listen, I don't want to alarm you, but your nana is missing.
Jerry: Nana's missing?
Uncle Leo: I came to pick her up for a doctor's appointment, she wasn't here. I called the doctor, nobody knows where she is. She hasn't left the apartment in twenty-five years!
Jerry: I've been thinking about her, I just cashed some of her checks.
Kramer: Yeah, that's right. You did.
Uncle Leo: What kind of checks?
Jerry: I think Chemical Bank.
Kramer: Oh, they were Chemical.
Uncle Leo: Chemical?! She hasn't used that account since her branch closed. What are you doing cashing her checks anyway?
Jerry: Well, Kramer thought it would make her happy. [to Kramer] I never should have cashed those checks!
Kramer: Hey, I didn't twist your arm.
Uncle Leo: Your grandmother's on a very fixed income. What, are you broke?
Jerry: Just call me if you hear anything.

Noreen: So anyway, it's caused a lot of problems. Dan thinks I'm interested in Jerry, he won't let up.
Elaine: I'm really sorry, but you can see why I'd make a mistake like that.
Noreen: No, why?
Elaine: Well, you know, because he's a high talker.
Noreen: He does raise his voice occasionally, but that's normal.
Elaine: No. No, no, no, not a loud talker, a high talker.
Noreen: Really?
Elaine: You don't think his voice sounds a lot like yours?
Noreen: I never noticed that.
Elaine: Well, it's no big deal, you know, it's just that he can sound like a woman, you know?
Noreen: Great. I'm going out with a man who sounds like a woman.
Elaine: Well, he looks like a man.
Noreen: Yeah.
Elaine: He's bald. I know that's a guy thing.
Noreen: I guess.
Elaine: I know he belches a lot.

Danny Tartabull: So this isn't gonna take long, is it?
George: Oh no, in and out, I made sure of that. And you'll be happy to know I perused the script and it's met with my approval.
Danny Tartabull: Yeah, I'm sure it's fine.
George: [swerves the car] Hey! Watch it! Did you see that guy? He just gave me the finger!
Danny Tartabull: You sure?
George: Oh yeah! Middle finger, straight up, at me! At us!
Danny Tartabull: What are you doing?
George: I'm following him.

Elaine: And now I think she might really be interested in you. And Dan is obsessed, he keeps leaving these annoying messages on my machine. [Jerry's phone rings]
Jerry: Would you?
Elaine: [answers phone] Hello?
Nana: Hello, I need to speak to Jerry.
Elaine: Oh, it's you. We were just talking about you. Listen, Jerry doesn't want to talk to you. Nobody wants to talk to you, so why don't you just drop dead? [hangs up] Huh?