Jerry: What about his house in Tuscany, he mention that?
Elaine: Yeah. I'm invited.
Jerry: You know, when I told him it was beautiful there, out of the clear blue sky, he says, "There's nothing to rent." As if he doesn't want anyone else there.
Elaine: Why?
Jerry: I don't know. Maybe he's embarrassed by Americans.
Elaine: Yeah, well, maybe there aren't any houses to rent there.
Jerry: In all of Tuscany? I wonder.

Jerry: Yeah, you know the other day how you mentioned that there were no houses available in Tuscany?
Maestro: You didn't find one, did you?
Jerry: No. I'm not really looking.
Maestro: Nor should you.
Jerry: But are you telling me there's not one house to rent in all of Tuscany?
Maestro: The houses are passed down from generation to generation. It's very hard.
Jerry: I can't get a sublet, a guest room, a cot, nothing?
Maestro: It's booked solid!
Elaine: It's booked, Jerry!
Jerry: How'd you get yours?
Maestro: Got lucky. Come on, Elaine, let's take a ride, I was about to pop in some Verdi.
[Elaine sings "La donna è mobile" as she gets into the Maestro's car. They drive away.]
Jerry: Maybe I'll check out France.

Jerry: Hey, George, you believe this guy?
George: Who?
Jerry: Bob Cobb.
George: Bob Cobb?
Jerry: You know, the Maestro.
George: Oh, I missed the Maestro?
Jerry: Yeah. Get this, he tells me there are no houses any where in Tuscany to rent.
George: Huh. Your renting a house in Tuscany?
Jerry: No.
George: So what do you care? [walks away]

Jerry: Poppie told me to talk to his cousin, he lives down in Little Italy.
George: What do you think about a rocking chair?

Jerry: Hey, hey, hey. Slow down, Eddie. What what's the matter?
Kramer: Ah, they're making faces at me cause I've had a couple of caffe lattes. But I'm entitled to them. I can have as many caffe lattes as I want. That was the settlement.
Jerry: That's it?
Kramer: That's it. What you want one, George? I can get one for you. No problem. Jerry, you want one? They're delicious. My pleasure.
Jerry: You've got to stop it. You're- You're all hopped up on the caffeine.
Kramer: Well, I feel like I'm talking fast but it's very hard to tell.
Jerry: You're racing!
Kramer: Well, well, I've got things to do. I'll see you later. Bye. [walks off quickly]

Elaine: [as they kiss] Oh, Bob! Bob! [The Maestro is insulted and stops] Maestro!

Jerry: Uh, excuse me. I'm looking for a Mr. Ciccio.
Ciccio: Si, si. I'm a Ciccio.
Jerry: Poppie sent me to see you Mr. Ciccio.
Ciccio: Si, si, Poppie.
Jerry: Um, did he did he mention to you why I called?
Ciccio: Si, the house in Toscana.
Jerry: Yeah, right, right. So is there anything there to rent?
Ciccio: Si. Two million lira. You give me the check.
Jerry: I didn't actually want to rent it.
Ciccio: The keys. Here are the keys. You give me the check. Two million lira. Seventeen hundred Americana. Molto generoso.
[A man approaches Ciccio and whispers in his ear]
Ciccio: [to the man] Si, si.
Jerry: See, um, I didn't say that I wanted to rent it, I was just wondering if there were houses there to rent.
Ciccio: Si. [holds up keys] This one. Capiche?

Elaine: It's been a rough couple of weeks. You know, I really needed to get away.
Maestro: I told you. It's paradise.
Elaine: You're right, Maestro.
[The sound of a car horn is heard in the background. A cab driver is yelling in Italian. Elaine and the Maestro go to other window to see what's going on. A cab is parked out front.]
Kramer: Come on, Jerry, this guy is crazy. Get out.
Jerry: You didn't have to push me.
Kramer: I didn't push you. How much did you pay that guy?
Jerry: 75,000 lira.
Kramer: 75,000 lira? Are you out of your mind?
Jerry: Kramer, you don't under the conversion rate.
Kramer: Oh, conversion rate, oh.
Jerry: You know, I don't even know why I brought you.
Kramer: Well, nobody put a gun to your head.
Jerry: [looks at the house] Not bad!
Kramer: Yeah!