Jerry: Listen, you gotta help me out. Elaine and Puddy just broke up. He's treating me just like a regular customer, now!
George: I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. No, ho, ho! You were gonna get a deal, huh? There's no laws in this place. Anything goes! It's Thunderdome!
Saleswoman: Is someone helping you?
George: Stay back!

Rick: Where is it now?
Kramer: There's still some overlap between the needle and the slash below the "E".
Rick: How long are you gonna go?
Kramer: Oh, I've been in the slash many times. This is nothing. You'll get used to it. Just, [popping sound] get it out of your mind.
Rick: Have you ever been completely below the slash?
Kramer: Well, I almost did once, and I blacked out. When I came to, the car was in a ditch, and the tank was full. I don't know who did it, and I never got to thank them.
Rick: Mr. Kramer, the road!

Jerry: So, listen, Puddy. When we first started this deal, I thought things were gonna be different. Now, if you want to play hard ball, I got my friend, George, here, and he can play pretty hard... ball. George, vein it up.
George: All right, Puddy, listen, and listen good. I need to know the name of that mechanic that walks around here. Big guy, a liar, short name. Sam? Moe? Sol?!
Jerry: George, can we focus on the car, here?
George: I'm starving! I can feel my stomach sucking up against my spine.

David Puddy: Jerry, I just need your signature, here, and we'll get you that yellow car ready to go.
Jerry: Yellow? I wanted black.
David Puddy: I can't give you black at that price.
Jerry: George, could you help me, please?
George: [stands up] Yes. This is wrong!
Jerry: Sing it, sister!
George: Just because a candy bar fails to fall from its perch...
Jerry: Oh, God.
George: ...does not imply transfer of ownership. Moe, Sol, or… Lem is not gonna get away with this!

Rick: Is it just the angle I'm looking from?
Kramer: No, sir. We are down there.
Rick: Oh, this is amazing! Oh, I've never felt so alive!
Kramer: Yeah, well, all right. I'm satisfied. We better get some gas.
Rick: What? Well, we can't stop now.
Kramer: What do you mean?
Rick: We have to keep going all the way back to the dealership. That was the plan.
Kramer: There was no plan.
Rick: Well, let's make it the plan! Let's just.. go for it! Like Thelma and Louise.
Kramer: What, they drove to a dealership?
Rick: No, they drove off a cliff.
Kramer: You are one sick mama. I like it.
Rick: Mr. Kramer, the road!

Elaine: [answers phone] Hello?
Jerry: Elaine, you've got to get back down to the dealer. Puddy is screwing me on this car, which is yellow now!
Elaine: Who is this?
Jerry: Elaine! [bangs phone against booth]
Elaine: What?!
Jerry: You gotta get back together with Puddy so I can make this deal.
Elaine: You know, just that you cared enough to call means so much, Jerry.
Jerry: You're gonna get back together, anyway. It's thousands of dollars!
Elaine: Oh, I don't know.
Jerry: Come on. Then you don't have to see him again until my 15,000-mile check.
Elaine: Well, will you pay my cab fare out there?
Jerry: Fine.
Elaine: And I didn't like that roast beef, so how about some lunch?
Jerry: No. No lunch.
Elaine: I'll hang the phone up right now!
Jerry: All right! Lunch!
Elaine: I'll see you.
Jerry: Bye. [hangs up] Everybody's ripping me off!

Willie Sr.: I remember when you used to be able to get a Hershey for a nickel.
Man: What's the one with the swirling chocolate in the commercial?
George: They all have swirling chocolate in the commercial.
Willie Sr.: Not Skittles.
Willie: Dad, I told you you could sit here only if you don't talk.
Woman: You make your father sit here all day?
Willie: He likes it!
George: All right, do you mind? I have the window! [to Willie] Now, what are you gonna do about my Twix?
Man: Twix has too much coconut.
George: No, there's no coconut!
Assistant: I'm allergic to coconut.
Willie: I'm not.
Willie Sr.: A nickel!

Jerry: No, no. No, Elaine, the car can wait. What's important is you two getting back together. Eh, then we'll talk about the car.
David Puddy: I don't want to get back with her. She's too bossy.
Elaine: David..
Jerry: Okay. Now, I know this is an important decision. Why don't we all just sit down and talk about it? Come on, come on. Now, look, you both find each other attractive, right?
Both: Right.
Jerry: Clearly, no one else can stand to be with either one of you.
Elaine: I guess.
David Puddy: Good point.
Jerry: All right. Now, what do I have to do to put you two in a relationship today?

Kramer: Cars can go on empty, but not us humans, huh, fella? I'll get us a couple of Twix bars.
Rick: No, no coconut for me.
Kramer: All right, I'll get you a Mounds bar.

Kramer: No, man. Not the gas.
Rick: But it needs it, Kramer. It needs it bad.
Kramer: Do you think that this'll make you happy? 'cause it won't!
Rick: Ah, you can just go on without me.
Kramer: Listen to me. When that car rolls into that dealership, and that tank is bone dry, I want you to be there with me when everyone says, "Kramer and that other guy, oh, they went further to the left of the slash than anyone ever dreamed!" [car makes puttering noises]
Rick: Maybe we better get moving.
Kramer: It's good to have you back, Stan.
Rick: It's Rick, by the way.
Kramer: No time!