‘The Caddy’
Season 7, Episode 12 - Aired January 25, 1996
George gives the impression he's working 'round the clock when he locks his car keys in his car at the stadium. Meanwhile, Elaine is disturbed by her friend, Sue Ellen (Brenda Strong), who doesn't wear a bra.
Quote from Jackie Chiles
Jackie Chiles: So it was the meeting on the street that prompted you to buy the bra for Miss Mishke. Would you say that was correct?
Elaine: Yes. Um, yes, that's correct.
Jackie Chiles: And you have also brought with you another bra, exactly like the one that she so flagrantly exhibited herself in!
Elaine: Yes, that's correct.
Quote from Kramer
Jackie Chiles: What was you golf score, the last round you played, before you shoulder was injured?
Kramer: Three under par.
Jackie Chiles: Ooh, three under par. That's what the professionals shoot, isn't it?
Kramer: If they're lucky.
Quote from George
Jerry: How did you lock your keys in your car?
George: How? Because I'm an idiot.
Jerry: So why don't you get a locksmith?
George: I was going to, but then I found out that the auto club has this free locksmith service, so I signed up. Just waiting for the membership to kick in.
Jerry: How long has your car been sitting in the Yankee parking lot?
George: I don't know. About three days.
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: You're not playing golf?
Kramer: Yes, indeed. The calendar says winter, but he gods of spring are out.
George: Are the courses open?
Kramer: No, no. I'm sneaking in with Stan the Caddy. We've been going through the caddies entrance.
George: Huh. No kidding?
Kramer: Yeah, and I'll tell you something else. Stan's advice has transformed my game. He's never wrong. Oh, he thinks eventually I'll have a shot at making it big on the senior tour. Oh, that's my dream, Jerry.
Jerry: Really, you're getting that good?
Kramer: Oh, I'm the real deal.
Quote from Elaine
Sue Ellen: Oh, listen! I'm having a birthday party tomorrow evening, I'd love it if you came by.
Elaine: Tomorrow? I don't know if I can.
Sue Ellen: No?
Elaine: Yeah, I'm just really, really busy.
Sue Ellen: Oh, that's too bad.
Elaine: Yeah.
Sue Ellen: Well, I hope you can get me a gift anyway. [laughs]
Elaine: [fake laugh]
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: You know Sue Ellen Mishke?
Jerry: Sue Ellen Mishke?
Elaine: Yeah, the woman I grew up with in Maryland. She moved here last year...
Jerry: Sounds familiar.
Elaine: The heiress to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune.
Jerry: Oh, yeah, you mentioned her.
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: Yes. I ran into her today. This woman has never, not once, ever, as long as I have known her, worn a bra.
George: Ah, that is disgusting.
Jerry: That is just shameless, I don't know, There's no-
George: The woman's a pig. What wrong with her-
Jerry: It's wrong, it's rude, and it's-
George: It's disgusting-
Elaine: All right, there's no- [goes to leave]
George: Come on! Come on.
Jerry: We're only kidding!
Quote from Elaine
Sue Ellen: Hi, Elaine.
Elaine: Hello.
Sue Ellen: I happened to be in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop in, and thank you for your lovely gift.
Elaine: Oh. You're... welcome.
Sue Ellen: Is anything wrong?
Elaine: Well, Sue Ellen, it's... It's not a top. It's a bra.
Sue Ellen: Oh, I know. Thanks again.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: [answers phone] Hello.
George: Hey. Hey, it's George. I need you to do me a favor.
Jerry: What's going on?
George: I just remembered. There's this Chinese restaurant out near Yankee Stadium, that puts flyers on all the cars.
Jerry: Yeah, so?
George: All right, this is what you gotta do. I need you to go out to the parking lot at Yankee Stadium, and take the flyers off my car.
Jerry: You know, last time you had me throwing a rye bread up three floors to you. Now you want me to go up to the Bronx, take flyers off your car, where does it end?
George: All right, fine. I'll drive the three hours each way, six hours all together, and take them off myself!
Jerry: All right, all right. I'll do it!!
Quote from Elaine
Kramer: What happens if I can't play like I was? What about the tour and all my dreams?
Elaine: Oh! I got it! Let's sue her!
Kramer: Sue her?
Elaine: Yeah, she's loaded. She's the heiress to the O'Henry candy bar fortune.
Kramer: No, no, no, I can't. I learned my lesson from that coffee company.
Elaine: Kramer, listen to me. Listen! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Your dreams have been shattered. Somebody's got to be held accountable. Come on, we'll take for every penny she's got!
Kramer: What do you think, Stan?
Stan: Let's go for the green! You know a good lawyer?