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The Caddy

‘The Caddy’

Season 7, Episode 12 -  Aired January 25, 1996

George gives the impression he's working 'round the clock when he locks his car keys in his car at the stadium. Meanwhile, Elaine is disturbed by her friend, Sue Ellen (Brenda Strong), who doesn't wear a bra.

Quote from George

George: I think I got it. How about this? How about this? We trade Jim Leyritz and Bernie Williams, for Barry Bonds, huh? What do think? That way you have Griffey and Bonds, in the same outfield! Now you got
a team! Ha ha ha.
Susan Ross: I don't know, George. I'm still worried about this car thing.
George: Would you stop worrying?
Susan Ross: Well, what about the flyers?
George: Jerry took the flyers off the car, I got the whole thing covered.


Quote from Kramer

Jerry: Well, I'm just not sure how I feel about it, Kramer.
Kramer: All right, what's gotten into you? What's happened?
Jerry: Nothing's happened.
[As Kramer begins to leave, he notices an "Oh Henry!" wrapper in Jerry's trash can]
Kramer: Oh, what's this?
Jerry: Oh, no, no, no, wait a second .Wait a second.
Kramer: I see. Yes. Little Miss Candy Bar paid a visit, didn't she?
Jerry: Kramer, it is not what you think.
Kramer: Ah! I know what I think. I think you're gaga over this dame. She's twisted you around her little finger, and now, you're willing to sell me, and Elaine, and whoever else you have to, right down the river.
Jerry: And what about you? Trying to bilk an innocent bystander out of a family fortune, built on sweat and toil, manufacturing quality Oh Henry! candy bars, for honest, hard-working Americans!
Kramer: You're just out for sex!
Jerry: You're just out for money!

Quote from Jerry

George: [on the phone] Hey, it's George.
Jerry: Where have you been?
George: What?
Jerry: I just got the most bizarre message from you father. Steinbrenner is at you house. They think you're dead!
George: Dead?
Jerry: Yeah, and we had an accident with your car. It's a little crumpled.
George: My car is a little crumpled?
Jerry: Yeah, yeah. I didn't know what to do so I put it back at the stadium. Oh, wait a second, wait a second. They saw the car, they saw the blood, they couldn't find you. That's why Steinbrenner thinks you're dead!

Quote from Jerry

Jackie Chiles: Would you tell this jury exactly what you saw on the corner of 83rd Street and Columbus?
Jerry: [hesitant] I... don't remember.
Jackie Chiles: Well, did you or did you not see the defendant, wearing the bra?
Jerry: I don't know. Maybe.
Jackie Chiles: Mr. Seinfeld, I might remind you that you are under oath. Now, I ask you again, did you or did you not, see this woman wearing the bra?!?
Jerry: ... All right, I saw her! I saw her! And she was beautiful in that bra! I'm crazy about her! I love her whole free-swinging, freewheeling attitude!
Judge: This court will come to order!
Jackie Chiles: No further questions, your honor.

Quote from Kramer

Jackie Chiles: I think we got this wrapped up.
Kramer: Yeah, yeah. What's your read, Stan?
Stan: You're close, you're on the green. You just have to go for the cup.
Kramer: What do you mean?
Stan: Have her try on the bra, see if it fits.
Jackie Chiles: No, no, no, no!
Kramer: Do it, Jackie. Stan's the man.
Jackie Chiles: Stan? Who the hell is Stan?
Kramer: He's my caddy.
Jackie Chiles: Your caddy? This is a big mistake!

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