[When Jerry enters his apartment with his luggage, a group of suited men are waiting in his apartment]
FBI Agent: Mr. Steinfeld?
Jerry: Seinfeld.
FBI Agent: We're with the FBI. You wanna tell us about your cable hook-up?
Jerry: My cable hook-up? What about it?
FBI Agent: It's been illegally installed, Mr. Steinfeld.
Jerry: It has? I've been out of town. How did you know?
[An agent leads Kramer out of the bedroom into the living room]
Kramer: Jerry, I had to tell them. I had to. I had no choice. Ah, they were onto the scam from the very beginning.
FBI Agent: You're in serious trouble, Mr. Steinfeld.
Jerry: Wait a minute. Wait a minute, hold on! We're just patsies. We're just a couple of users. We never sold the stuff. What about the Russian guy? The Russian guy is the guy you want.
[The Russian guy steps out of the bedroom, wearing a suit and having lost his Eastern European accent]
Tabachnik: Mr. Seinfeld, Agent Stone. FBI. Undercover.
[Jerry makes a run for it]
Kramer: No! Jerry!
[The FBI agents unleash a torrent of bullets as Jerry dashes towards the door. He is hit by a flurry of bullets. As he drops to the floor, he makes one last attempt to grab the door handle. Tabachnik shoots him at point-blank range]
Kramer: No! Cable boy? Cable boy. What have you done to my little cable boy?
[reality: Jerry wakes up on an airplane]

Jerry: Excuse me. Can I get something to drink?
Stewardess: I'm afraid not.
Jerry: What's with this airline? What are you, cutting out the drinks now?
Stewardess: No sir. We're flying into a blizzard. Please fasten your seat belt. We're making an emergency landing.
Jerry: Are they gonna go over the instructions again?
Old Man: My name is Bill. I might be the last person you ever see.

Leslie: We just bought an apartment on Riverside Drive. Bernard Goetz's mother used to live there.
Elaine: So, where's Todd?
Leslie: Up in Hyannis Port.
Elaine: Oh my God, Hyannis Port? With the Kennedys? Who else is up there? Is Rose up there?!
Mary: So, when's your due date?
Leslie: March 20th, nine a.m.
Mary: You know the time?
Leslie: I'm having a planned C-section. My therapist told me if I go through labor, I might get psychotic.
Elaine: Leslie. Leslie, whatever happened to Sargent Shriver? Is he still with them? You don't hear much about him these days. Is he out of the loop?
Leslie: Elaine, who catered this, Sears?

Elaine: What is this?! What are you doing here?
Kramer: Oh, we're putting in cable.
Elaine: The cable? No, no, no. I'm having a party here. You can't do this now!
Kramer: Oh, we have to do this now.
Elaine: Who's this guy?
Kramer: Which one?
Elaine: Both of the them.
Kramer: Oh, they're Soviet Cable guys.
Elaine: Okay. Does Jerry know about this?
Kramer: Oh, yeah. It's all authorized, yeah.
Elaine: You can't! You can't do this now!
Kramer: Elaine, do you know how booked up this guy is? Now, if I send him away now, it's gonna take Jerry months to get him back. He won't like that.
Elaine: All right. Just do it fast and then get out.
Kramer: [snaps his fingers] Anatoly! [to Elaine] Look, it's gonna take a few minutes. Then, you and the gals can take a load off and watch something on Lifetime.

Kramer: [flirting with a female guest] Yeah, I eat the whole apple. The core, stem, seeds, everything.
Elaine: Kramer, Kramer, look at him. Look! He's eating all the food!
Kramer: Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, there are many differences between American and Soviet cultures that you're not aware of. See, in Russia, the cable guy, they got the whole run of the house. Yeah, that's tradition. [turns back to the woman] Did you ever eat the bark of a pineapple?

Elaine: What are you doing here? I thought you were out of town for the weekend.
Jerry: The show was cancelled. There was a blizzard.
Elaine: I can't believe you told Kramer it's okay to put the cable in during the shower! Jerry, look, look! They've eaten everything.
Leslie: Jerry, what a surprise! I thought you sere out of town.
Jerry: Well, Leslie, sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

George: Leslie.
Leslie: Yeah?
George: George. George Costanza.
Leslie: Hi.
George: [laughs] You... I guess, you don't remember me, but we actually went out a couple of years ago, once, remember?
Leslie: Vaguely.
George: You took me to one of your shows.
Leslie: And?
George: And, um, it was quite good. In fact, you even incorporated me into the show. I'm not actually a performer. Although, my parents felt I had talent.

Leslie: I'm going, obviously.
Elaine: Oh, Leslie, I am so sorry about everything that went on here tonight. You know, I had no idea..
Leslie: Elaine, you know, I was watching you tonight, and I realized something. You're just like you were in college.
Elaine: Oh, thank you? [to herself] "Like you were in college"?
Leslie: Come on! Let's go!
[George comes out of the bedroom with all of Leslie's baby shower gifts]
George: Be right back.

Jerry: All right, I said I had a good time and I'd call, but who takes that literally?

Kramer: Hey, come on over, Dr. Zhivago's on cable in five minutes. I'm making popcorn!