Elaine: George.
George: Of course, absolute zero.
Elaine: What? What is with all these books?
George: I stopped having sex.

Kramer: All right, I'll see you Bill. All right, I got room for two, but the only thing I have is in the non-filter section. [to Jerry] Hey.
Jerry: Hey. Wh- What do you got, a smoker's lounge in there?
Kramer: Oh, yeah. People really seem to be enjoying themselves. You know, they come in once, it's like they're addicted.

Katie: Jerry, oh, there you are. You didn't answer the phone.
Jerry: I was out.
Katie: Oh. Jerry, great news. I got you an assembly.
Jerry: An assembly?
Katie: Two hours in front of the entire junior high, grades six through eight. That's sixth grade, seventh grade--
Jerry: I understand. But what am I gonna talk about for two hours?
Katie: And, it is already in the school paper. They cancelled Rick James.
Jerry: "Super Freak"?
Katie: Yes.

Elaine: What is your answer to number 74?
Ben: Medobolic acidosis.
Elaine: No! Hypocalimia, not medibolic acidosis. Duh!
Ben: Oh, man, I'm never gonna pass this thing.
Elaine: Oh, yes you are. We'll just stop having sex.

Jerry: ...so if you like to tell jokes, and love to make people laugh, stand-up comedy may be the career for you. Thank you.
George: Nine minutes.
Jerry: How am I gonna fill two hours?
George: Hello? I can take an hour off your hands. Give the kids a chance to see a real live Yankee.
Jerry: And give you the chance to see some real disappointed kids.

Waitress: Yes, can I take your order please?
George: Excuse me, darling. Do I detect a Portuguese accent?
Waitress: Sim.
George: Dois cafés e uma salada grande, por favor.
Waitress: Muito obrigado, senhor.
George: Eh, don't mention it.
Elaine: Portuguese?
George: Yeah, my cleaning lady's Portuguese. I must've picked it up.

Elaine: Hey, Ben. I need a four letter word. Winnie the blank.
Ben: [o.s.] Pooh!
Elaine: Poo... [laughing]
Ben: No, it's Winnie the Pooh.

Jerry: So, you ready for the assembly tomorrow? You know what you're gonna say about the Yankees?
George: Oh, sports are so pedestrian. I've prepared some science experiments that will illuminate the mind and dazzle the eye.
Jerry: I wrote a 20 minute bit about how homework stinks.

Jerry: How you doing?
Elaine: Not good. I'm a moron.
Jerry: Well, don't worry about it. Once he passes the test, you'll have sex again, and you'll be fine.
Elaine: Well, that kinda brings us to why I'm here. You got eleven minutes?
Jerry: What for? [off Elaine's flirtatious look] Oh, come on.
Elaine: I just wanna clear my head. It has nothing to do with you.
Jerry: I think it has something to do with me.
Elaine: You could read the paper through the whole thing if you want.
Jerry: [considers for a moment] No, no, no. I'm sorry, it's too weird.
Elaine: Oh, all right. Is Kramer home?

Elaine: Congratulations! You passed!
Ben: Elaine, Elaine. I don't think we should see each other anymore.
Elaine: What? you're breaking up with me? But I sacrificed and supported you while you struggled. What about my dream of dating a doctor?
Ben: I'm sorry, Elaine. I always knew that after I became a doctor, I would dump whoever I was with and find someone better. That's the dream of becoming a doctor.
Elaine: Lookit, are we going to have sex, or not?