Jerry Quote #1514
Quote from Jerry in The Abstinence
Jerry: ...so if you like to tell jokes, and love to make people laugh, stand-up comedy may be the career for you. Thank you.
George: Nine minutes.
Jerry: How am I gonna fill two hours?
George: Hello? I can take an hour off your hands. Give the kids a chance to see a real live Yankee.
Jerry: And give you the chance to see some real disappointed kids.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Abstinence’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: How come he's getting so smart? I stopped having sex with Ben three days ago and I don't know no Portuguese.
Jerry: Are you all right?
Elaine: I don't know. It's just the last couple of days my mind has been kind of, you know... not good.
Jerry: Wait a second, I know what's happening. The no sex thing is having a reverse effect on you.
Elaine: What? What are you talking about?
Jerry: To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You just take for granted the fact that any time you put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit's gonna come along and pick it up. But now, no sex, it's like a garbage strike. The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk is blocked. Nothing's getting through. You're stupid!
Elaine: I don't understand.
Jerry: Exactly.
Quote from Jackie Chiles
Jackie Chiles: [on the phone] Oh, my vacation was restful, splendid, magnificent. In fact, next time I'm planning on going to Corfu.
Quote from Jackie Chiles
Jackie Chiles: Did that cigarette warning label mention anything about damage to your appearance?
Kramer: No, it didn't say anything.
Jackie Chiles: So you're a victim. Now your face is sallow, unattractive, disgusting.
Kramer: So Jackie, do you think we gotta case?
Jackie Chiles: Your face is my case.