J.D. Quote #348
Quote from J.D. in My Philosophy
J.D.: [v.o.] I guess sometimes my theory about life and death balancing each other out in the hospital doesn't hold true. I guess sometimes you get lucky.
J.D.: What's going on?
Nurse Roberts: She's coding.
[fantasy, all singing:]
Elaine: Any minute now My ship is coming in I'll keep checking the horizon I'll stand on the bow Feel the waves come crashing
Turk: Come crashing down Down, down on me
Janitor: And you say, be still, my love
Carla: Open up your heart Let the light shine in
Dr. Kelso, Ted & Dr. Mitchell: Don't you understand? I already have a plan I'm waiting for my real life to begin
Elaine: My real life to begin
All: Oh, don't you understand? I already have a plan I'm waiting for my real life to begin
Elaine: On a clear day I can see See See See See a very long way.
[reality:]
Dr. Cox: She's gone. You'll be OK?
J.D.: Yeah.
Features in the collection: J.D.'s Best Fantasies.
Scrubs Quotes
‘J.D.'s Best Fantasies’
Quote from J.D. in My Quarantine
Kylie: So, uh, what's wrong with this guy?
J.D.: Well, let's see. Fatigue, fever, malaise. Have you been to Hong Kong, sir?
Man: Yeah.
J.D.: [v.o.] And then I said something stupid.
J.D.: Could be SARS.
J.D.: [v.o.] I forgot that if any doctor suspects SARS, it's cause for immediate quarantine lockdown.
[fantasy: Indiana Jones theme plays as sirens blare and doors shutter across the I.C.U. Jordan, now wearing a fedora, dives under the shutter as it closes]
Dr. Cox: What have you done, Newbie?
Danni: [holding a flask] Quarantinis, anyone?
Quote from J.D. in My Words of Wisdom
J.D.: [v.o.] As for me, I couldn't help but imagine what my own funeral would be like.
[fantasy:]
Choir: [singing] My girl wants to party all the time Party all the time
Minister: Yeah! And as you know, J.D. only had two requests. And that is that the choir sing the song that would remind us of how much he loved to party and that he could get one last hug from each of you.
[J.D.'s casket is stood vertically and his arms are spread out]
Elliot: You are the only one I've never faked it with.
Keith: It's true.
Dr. Cox: Hell, I love you, Newbie. I should have done this a long time ago. [hugs J.D.]
J.D.: I knew you loved me. I just had to fake my own death to prove it. He loves me everyone. Can I get an Amen?
All: Amen!
J.D.: Whoo, got him good! [Dr. Cox breaks J.D.'s neck] Worth it.
[reality:]
J.D.: And then we'd have my real funeral.
Dr. Kelso: Are you an idiot?
J.D.: No, sir, I'm a dreamer.
‘My Philosophy’ Quotes
Quote from Turk
Turk: All right, Ralphie, new tack. I want you to do what I do. I want you to imagine that there are tiny men inside your booty, trying to push the dookie. Push the dookie out, Ralphie. Can you imagine that for me?
[later:]
Man: You told my son there were little men inside him? He barely sleeps as it is.
Turk: Sir, I'm sorry. I was wrong.
Man: That was sick.
Turk: But still, if you could do this for me, I would greatly appreciate it. The next time your son has a bowel movement, take the dookie, put it in a Ziplock bag, and just call me on my cell phone. It's for my girlfriend. Hey, Ralphie. Little men, pushing it out, pushing it out.
Quote from Nurse Roberts
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, are you off for the day?
Elliot: Oh, I just didn't have a place to change.
Nurse Roberts: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kelso: Laverne, I'm going to pretend you're not wearing that.
Nurse Roberts: Don't you usually wait to get home before you do that?
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: Thanks for the pen.
J.D.: Oh, no.
Janitor: Yeah, this was my favorite T-shirt. And this is my favorite skin.