Kylie: So, uh, what's wrong with this guy?
J.D.: Well, let's see. Fatigue, fever, malaise. Have you been to Hong Kong, sir?
Man: Yeah.
J.D.: [v.o.] And then I said something stupid.
J.D.: Could be SARS.
J.D.: [v.o.] I forgot that if any doctor suspects SARS, it's cause for immediate quarantine lockdown.
[fantasy: Indiana Jones theme plays as sirens blare and doors shutter across the I.C.U. Jordan, now wearing a fedora, dives under the shutter as it closes]
Dr. Cox: What have you done, Newbie?
Danni: [holding a flask] Quarantinis, anyone?

J.D.: [v.o.] As for me, I couldn't help but imagine what my own funeral would be like.
[fantasy:]
Choir: [singing] My girl wants to party all the time Party all the time
Minister: Yeah! And as you know, J.D. only had two requests. And that is that the choir sing the song that would remind us of how much he loved to party and that he could get one last hug from each of you.
[J.D.'s casket is stood vertically and his arms are spread out]
Elliot: You are the only one I've never faked it with.
Keith: It's true.
Dr. Cox: Hell, I love you, Newbie. I should have done this a long time ago. [hugs J.D.]
J.D.: I knew you loved me. I just had to fake my own death to prove it. He loves me everyone. Can I get an Amen?
All: Amen!
J.D.: Whoo, got him good! [Dr. Cox breaks J.D.'s neck] Worth it.
[reality:]
J.D.: And then we'd have my real funeral.
Dr. Kelso: Are you an idiot?
J.D.: No, sir, I'm a dreamer.

Elliot: Did you know they're actually experimenting with a drug that can erase stuff from your head, like memories, dreams.
Turk: I don't remember any of my dreams anyway. Except for the ones involving cheese and Tyra Banks. Oh, baby, don't worry. You've nothing to be threatened by. In my book it goes: cheese, you, Tyra.

Elliot: There are so many moments in my life I will never forget. Oh, like that time my dad accidentally glued my mom's legs together after testing out his new homemade sex lube.
J.D.: Your dad's awesome!

Carla: Amnesia? But what did he say when you told him he tried to commit suicide?
J.D.: I didn't tell him.
Turk: He doesn't need to deal with that right now. Hell, maybe we should never tell him.
J.D.: [v.o.] I know I'd love to forget all the painful things that have happened to me. But unfortunately I keep replaying them into my head like some clip-show from a bad sit-com, too lazy to come up with a fresh story.