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My Unicorn

‘My Unicorn’

Season 4, Episode 11 -  Aired November 23, 2004

J.D. gets overly involved when his patient, Mr. Marks (guest star John Bennett Perry), needs a kidney from his estranged son, Murray (guest star Matthew Perry). After Carla and Jordan encourage Elliot to use her feminine wiles to get things done in the hospital, they have to clean up the mess when Elliot inadvertently angers the man she's interviewing with.

Quote from Jordan

Jordan: Elliot, if you want to get ahead, you have to use what God gave you.
Carla: Or in your case, what Dr. Feinberg gave you.
Jordan: Exactly.


Quote from Elliot

J.D.: I can't keep my kidney guy's son from leaving.
Carla: Elliot will help. You can do this.
Elliot: Hi, I'm Elliot.
Murray: Hi, I'm Murray.
Elliot: Hi, I'm Elliot. [to Carla & Jordan] I'm firing blanks, here. [Jordan flicks water at Elliot] Frick! These are my favorite scrubs! Is it a bad stain?
Murray: No. That's a good stain. That's a very good stain. That's my favorite stain ever.
Elliot: I did it!

Quote from J.D.

Murray: I can't believe you got cake. The guy said they didn't have any.
J.D.: Just do what I told you to do.
[Murray poses seductively]
Glen: Sweets for the sweet.
Murray: Thank you, Glen.

Quote from Carla

Turk: You have created a monster. Elliot did a little tongue dance in Franklyn's ear just to get him to do her labs before mine.
Carla: So she used her femininity. The only reason you usually get your lab-work back so fast is because you always pick Franklyn to play basketball, even though he always shoots his foul shots granny-style.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: Can I talk to you for a second?
Man: [over radio] Tower, are you there? I lost an engine!
J.D.: I'm not falling for that crap again.
Murray: This is real. Mickey's not here.
Man: Oh, God. I lost another engine.
Murray: Calm down, Frank. You left your engines in the storage shed.
Man: Oh, there they are. Thanks, Murray.
Murray: It's what I do.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Murray: I don't know if I can go through with this. I wish there was something to help me get through the door.
Dr. Cox: Hey, jerk-hole.
J.D. and Murray: Yeah?
Dr. Cox: No, new jerk-hole. Now, no matter what you think of that guy in there, he always knew he wasn't your father but he stayed in the game anyway. So how's about you get your selfish ass in there.
Murray: Okay.

Quote from J.D.

Murray: Hey.
Mr. Marks: Hey.
Murray: So, I got this extra kidney I'm not using.
Mr. Marks: Are you sure?
Murray: Yeah.
Mr. Marks: You know I love you, right?
Murray: Yeah, I know you do. I love you too, dad.
[Mr. Marks sings "Cats in the Cradle" and plays his guitar]
Mr. Marks: Dad. Dad. Dad!

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: Excuse me, are you Murray Marks?
Murray: I'm busy.
J.D.: You don't look busy.
Man: [voice over radio] Tower, this is flight 117. We've lost an engine.
Murray: Yeah, you're right. I'm not busy.
J.D.: You can take that.
Murray: No, no, no. Let's talk.
Man: Oh, God! We've lost the other engine!
J.D.: Take it! Take it!
Murray: Okay. [into radio] Pull up, 117. Pull up. Hello? Hello? We lost 'em. So what was your thing?
J.D.: Shouldn't you call the fire department or something!?!
Murray: Nah, nah. That was just Mickey fooling around.
Man: Hey.
Murray: This is a tiny airport, we get like one airplane a day.
Man: I'm a pretty airplane, board me.
Murray: He's a little off.
J.D.: He smells like fuel.
Murray: He's an airplane.

Quote from Elliot

Elliot: Okay, so I tried to get some x-rays back from the lab tech by making a kissy face, and he asked me if I had palsy.

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