J.D.: All right, fine, what do you think Gregory's doing right now?
Murray: Probably playing his stupid guitar.
[meanwhile, Mr. Marks is talking to Dr. Cox as he strums his guitar:]
Mr. Marks: Ah, so maybe I wasn't the perfect dad. I mean, there were the occasional missed baseball games. And the taking of his college sweetheart to the Bahamas for two weeks without telling him. But I still don't see why he resents me this much.
Dr. Cox: Boy, tell me about it. You know, I got this kid who constantly ignores my advice, and then flashes me the sad doe eyes every time I call him a girl's name or scream in his face.
Mr. Marks: Do you wanna sing about him?
Dr. Cox: No. Not ever.

J.D.: Sometimes Dr. Cox is all over me, like every second of my life.
Murray: Why do you keep talking about your boss like he's your father?
J.D.: Remember? Recently deceased dad?
Murray: Massive heart attack.
J.D.: Yes! I mean, yes.
[meanwhile:]
Dr. Cox: You do know he's not yours, don't you?
Mr. Marks: I figured it out. Mostly because his mother was eight months pregnant when I met her. But there were other signs.
Dr. Cox: 'course.
Mr. Marks: But his real dad was such a jerk we just decided not to tell him. A boy needs a father who loves him, you know?
Dr. Cox: Yeah.

Carla: Elliot, what are you doing here?
Elliot: My interviewer called my cell phone. He has been waiting to talk to me.
Jordan: What the hell?
Turk: Woman, I was covered in bees!

Turk: Ladies, I think we've learned our lesson.
Jordan: That is not helpful, Turkleton!
Turk: I was covered in bees!

J.D.: [v.o.] As for me, maybe I got too involved with Murray and his fake real dad. But as I watched Gregory serenade a clearly uncomfortable Murray, I realized something. If Murray could look past his dad's imperfections and appreciate all the time he'd given him, maybe I owe Dr. Cox a thank-you for the same thing.
J.D.: Hey. I just wanted to take a second to thank you for constantly berating me, doubting my abilities, and the overall devastation of my self-esteem.
Dr. Cox: My pleasure.
J.D.: Now wrap it all up with a slow motion hand wave.
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, I'm slow, baby.

Murray: I'm not quite sure I'm getting this.
J.D.: Ah. What's not to get? Look, Dr. Cox told me not to get involved, I defied him, and now, with your help, I'm gonna rub it in his face, okay? Now for the last time, the song goes like this: [sings] "You were wrong! I found his son, I found his son, I found his son!" And then you jump out and go, "That's me!"
Murray: Yeah, but- Okay, but wouldn't it be funnier if I came on the second "I found his son," just to get to it?
J.D.: Yeah, that would be a whole lot funnier. But I have a question: Who's gonna be singing the "I found his son" song? Because it certainly won't be me! Okay? Here he comes. Dr. Cox? You were wrong! I found his son, I found his son, I f-
Murray: That's meeee! Too early?
J.D.: We rehearsed this!
Murray: We were on your scooter.

Turk: No. You will not turn Elliot into some flirtatious manipulator. I mean, don't get me wrong, outside the hospital, Elliot with her hair up is a slammin' hottie. But in here she's an asexual mess. And that's the natural order of things. And you don't mess with the natural order!

Carla: You won't have to compromise yourself. It's all about subtlety. It'sa lingering smile, a chuckle at a bad joke, a look in your eye that says, "If you do what I want maybe something will happen between us, even though you know it never will."
[later:]
Elliot: Franklyn, if you analyze this urine sample right now, then maybe I'll have sex with you, but probably not.
Carla: So close.

J.D.: Alright, what's the problem with your dad?
Murray: Well, for starters, he named me "Murray." That's an old man's name.
J.D.: Oh, come on, no it isn't.
Murray: Murray!
[Nine elderly-men appear from their hospital rooms]
All: What?
Murray: Everything my father's ever done was designed to humiliate me.
J.D.: Murray!
All: What?
Murray: What?
J.D.: No, the youngest Murray.
Man: I'm sixty-eight.
Murray: Thirty-four!

Murray: You don't know what it was like having him as a father. He had me in his shadows my whole life. He actually sang at my senior prom. My date threw her panties on the stage first and last time I saw them, by the way. Whenever I'm around the guy I'm invisible. Oh, come on, you're exaggerating.
[Mr. Marks is singing "Hey Good Lookin'" and playing the guitar]
Murray: See what I mean?
J.D.: Ssh, I love this song.