Dr. Cox: Look, in this world, when you trying to settle a score, there are things you can do and things you cannot do. Under no circumstances can you ever perform unnecessary surgery just to unload an annoying patient.
Turk: Um, did I get drunk last night and sent you an e-mail asking for your opinion about what I did?
Dr. Cox: I don't know. I didn't check.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Turkleberry, can you please explain to me why you performed surgery on that patient? Better yet, you can tell it to the ethics committee later on today. Maybe they'll just slap you with a suspension instead of taking away your licence.

J.D.: [v.o.] That night Elliot and I went out. Just the two of us.
J.D.: Okay, how many beers?
Elliot: Um, I'd say about eight before she would do you.
J.D.: [v.o.] Yep. It was just like old times.
Melody: Hello, Elliot. [record scratches; music stops]
Bartender: Hit that thing. It stops like that all the time.
Melody: Hey, I'm the Fonz!

Carla: What the hell are you doing?
Dr. Kelso: I'm reading Mr. Gertner's chart, but if you'd like me to be more specific, I'm also standing, breathing, thinking and now talking, which is actually preventing me from what I was originally trying to do.
Carla: Turk's career is in danger and you're gonna toss that attitude my way?
Dr. Cox: I never asked him to operate on that guy.
Carla: No! You tortured him into playing a game he shouldn't have been playing. Never mind that you and I are supposed to be friends, and that I just had a baby that I was hoping my husband would help to support.
Carla: What horrible thing did Turk do to piss you off in the first place?
Dr. Cox: He asked me to occasionally... toss him a good surgery.
Carla: Ah, well, if he didn't apologize for that, let me do it for him. He's so sorry.
Dr. Cox: Don't worry about it.

Dr. Kelso: What is it, Perry?
Dr. Cox: Bob, what I'm about to say is so painful, that I plan on erasing it from my memory tonight by drinking a fifth of Jack and challenging-
Dr. Kelso: One moment, Perry, I want to see this. Go ahead!
Dr. Kelso: I know that Gandhi messed up. I do. But I need you to let him off the hook.
Dr. Kelso: And, why is that?
Dr. Cox: Because I pushed him into it. Okay? Or because he's a good person. Or better yet, because he's a good surgeon.
Dr. Kelso: Then, I'll think about it.
Dr. Cox: Bye bye.

Elliot: Keith?
Keith: Elliot, I didn't go home to see my family. I went to see your father to ask his permission to do this.
Elliot: Oh!
Keith: Elliot, will you marry me?
Melody: [enters] No way!
J.D.: [v.o.] Yep, such is life.