‘My New Game’
Season 4, Episode 3 - Aired September 14, 2004
J.D. is annoyed when people at the hospital start referring to him as the Co-Chief Resident and Elliot as the Chief Resident. Turk loses his mojo after J.D. doubts his surgical skills. Dr. Molly Clock (Heather Graham) supports a plastic-surgery patient who is upset that she looks better following reconstructive surgery. Meanwhile, Dr. Cox and Jordan find out they're still married.
Quote from Ted
Dr. Molly Clock: Obviously for your ex-wife, just the illusion of hair is important. Excuse me.
Ted: So you're saying it had nothing to do with my impotence?
Quote from Dr. Molly Clock
Dr. Molly Clock: Dr. Cox, I was wondering if we could talk about Miss Myers in my office?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, I make it a point to never enter a shrink's office unless I'm planning on grossly overpaying somebody for telling me something that I already know.
Mo;Look, you're obviously really distracted by the situation with your marriage.
Dr. Cox: Something I already know, what do I owe? Will ten bucks cover it?
Dr. Molly Clock: Oh, yeah!
Dr. Cox: Oh, you're gonna hang onto that?
Dr. Molly Clock: Yeah, you know, I forgot my lunch money, and it's kielbasa day in the cafeteria. Kielbasa! Love it.
Dr. Molly Clock: Anyway, Miss Myers really values your opinion, but I don't think you're even trying to understand how she feels.
Dr. Cox: Look, if I ever want your advice on one of my patients, I'll ask. But do not hold your breath, unless of course you can hold it for a really long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time.
Dr. Molly Clock: I can't, I used to smoke. [Dr. Cox walks away] Kielbasa. Yes!
Quote from Turk
Turk: Let me buy you lunch.
J.D.: I'm rich. I'll buy you lunch and some gold teeth to eat it with.
Turk: You know, you only got one more black joke this month before I bust your ass.
J.D.: Dammit! I used 'em all up watching Barber Shop 9.
Turk: Okay, that's it, and I'll get you later.
Quote from Turk
J.D.: What do you mean she died?
Turk: I did everything I could. Even my attending thought I did great. He said, "Do I think you did great? Yes, I do!"
Quote from Turk
Turk: [v.o.] Forget about J.D. You're just as good as the Todd. You got this.
Turk: All right, people! I believe we're done here. [as Turk backs away, his gown rips]
Dr. Lemmon: Did you just sew your gown into the patient? Yeah, you did.
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: Hey! Hey, someone! Hey! Randall was in the air conditioning vent, and it collapsed on him! Buddy!
Randall: [coughing] Co-chief. Co-chief!
Janitor: Hey, you fixed him! Come on, buddy!
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Ah, these things chafe. Now I know why Eddie called it Raw. Carla! Do you have any powder?
Quote from Dr. Molly Clock
Dr. Cox: You. You went behind my back.
Dr. Molly Clock: I gave you every opportunity to do the right thing.
Dr. Cox: I'll tell you what, there, Miss Manners: Why don't you go ahead and gulp down that bear-sized bite, and then we'll talk.
Dr. Molly Clock: [chews for a long time] Yummy! Man, that is great kielbasa. But you can't really screw up kielbasa, can you? So, um, where were we?
Dr. Cox: Honest to God, I can't remember.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: Listen, I probably shoulda put a stop to all this co-chief stuff.
J.D.: What co-chief stuff? I haven't even been thinking about it.
Elliot: Look, J.D., ever since you dumped me, everyone around here's been treating me like some kind of a victim. It's like, "Oh, look at poor Elliot going home alone." Or, "Oh, look at poor Elliot riding a tandem bike by herself." That's not something I normally do, I just really wanted ice cream the other night, my car was out of gas, and that's the bike the Gundersons loaned me. [sighs] They do everything together.
Quote from J.D.
Elliot: The point is it was nice being the one chief resident for a while, you know?
[Elliot removes the "Co-" tag that J.D. was struggling to get off]
J.D.: She's got fingers like biceps!