Dr. Kelso: [v.o.] Or how you can often have more questions than answers.
Carla: I just don't understand why no one will help us save Kelso's job.
Janitor: That's easy. Word get out that he wants Kelso gone. And no one wants to cross him 'cause he's a scary guy. Now, I'm not scared of him, but that's because I'm magic. [clicks fingers] Is he dancing?
Elliot & Carla: No.

Elliot: You ask him. If I do that he'll say something mean that will really hurt my feelings.
Carla: We want you to reconsider helping Kelso.
Dr. Cox: Could I get a "Hell, no!" from any random doctor?
Josephine: [high-pitched, o.s.] Hell, no!
Dr. Cox: Thank you, whomever. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go far, far away from annoying people. Especially whiny childless blondes with stained-coffee teeth.
Carla: Oh, look at that, he got you anyway.

Carla: There's got to be a way to get Dr. Cox to change his mind.
Jordan: Perry does not sway so easily. Unlike your husband, who would probably cave if you'd show him your cans.
Carla: Don't even have to show him both.
Turk: Left one's cooler. Looks like a sea lion's face.
J.D.: It does. Turk drew it for me.

Elliot: Come on, Jordan, think. There's got to be a way.
Jordan: Oh, my God. Enough.
J.D.: You know, there might be something I could do to change his mind.
[later:]
J.D.: So here's the truth, I was only able to diagnose your patient when I left his urine outside in the sun, where it turned purple. Then I googled "purple pee", and the internet gave me the answer.
Dr. Cox: The universe makes sense again. But, please don't think this is going to make me change my mind about Kelso.
J.D.: What if I was to sweeten the deal with a sketch of Carla's boob?
Dr. Cox: That's an otter!

Dr. Cox: I have news, Mr. McRae. You have Acute Intermittent Porphiria. Now, while that is manageable, I'm afraid there is no cure. And then we got a response that we didn't expect.
Alex: Oh, man. I couldn't be happier.
Dr. Cox: Excuse me?
Alex: Just knowing what it is, makes it so much easier to deal with, you know?
J.D.: [v.o.] And then I saw something click in Dr. Cox. What Mr. Mc Rae was saying is that the enemy you know is always better than the one you don't.

J.D.: Wait! There's more people coming!
Carla: When?
J.D.: Right now. Love Train!
[fantasy: Dr. Cox leads a procession of doctors on the train as The O'Jays "Love Train" plays]
J.D.: Well, you could have made a bigger entrance.
Dr. Cox: Let's get this over, before I puke.