Elliot: You ready to do this?
Kim: Let's air some crap out.
Elliot: I feel guilty because we used to be friends and now I resent you so much for having a baby with J.D. that sometimes I dream about you dying. Also, if you ever even touch J.D., I have sex with him in the car in front of a random creepy bicyclist that J.D. thinks I don't see.
Kim: That sounds healthy.
Elliot: I think it is.
Kim: Look, if it makes you feel any better, I used to dream about you dying all the time.
Elliot: Really?
Kim: Yeah. Seriously.

Sean: It's not fair that we still have to be in each other's lives.
J.D.: I know. But I also know the girls aren't gonna let up until we make peace. So what do you say we change the tone a little bit and both say something nice about each other? I'll go first. Look at you. There's no way around it. You're a beautiful man.
Sean: Thank you, J.D.
J.D.: Now you go.
Sean: I never agreed to that.
J.D.: Beautiful son of a bitch.

Sunny: I'm just putting an IV in, okay? [Kelso is unresponsive] Sir? Sir? Are you okay?
Dr. Kelso: Bah! One-nothing, Bobbo.
Sunny: Good one. Hold still.
Dr. Kelso: Ow, damn it, we're even.
Sunny: That wasn't a vein, was it?
Dr. Kelso: That's okay, sweetheart. You're probably just nervous. So why don't you go get a cup of water to relax and we'll try it again.
Sunny: Thanks. I'll be right back.
Dr. Kelso: Take your time. [hooks up his own IV] The Grapes of... The Grapes of... [vomits] Wrath!

Turk: So Sam stopped crying the second Sean picked him up, huh? It's harsh.
Elliot: I know. J.D. was a little quiet last night, but I'm proud of him, he's really handling it well.
[meanwhile:]
J.D.: Your plan to sex up my old girlfriend so you can turn my baby boy against me is over. [to Sam] Hey, buddy. No, what's wrong? What's wrong? It's okay. How are you doing this? Are you a sorcerer?
Sean: Hey, J.D.

Elliot: Hey, Dr. Cox, I heard you were hiring Dr. Turk as the new Chief of Surgery.
Turk: Told her the good news.
Dr. Cox: It's not happening. I have tried to communicate that message to you every single way I know how but you won't hear it. Honestly, the only option I have left is to concentrate really hard and see if I can shoot my actual message right into your big bald head. [groans]
Turk: I know you don't want to give me the job.
Dr. Cox: My god. It worked. This is a terrific day for science.
Turk: Time to call in the closer.
Carla: A word.
Dr. Cox: Why do you always have your wife fight your battles for you?
Turk: I do. Get him, woman.

Janitor: What are you doing?
Dr. Kelso: I'm doctoring my file. What are you doing?
Janitor: I'm making this special hat in case black doctor gets the Chief of Surgery job.
Dr. Kelso: I need you to guard this door while I take care of some business.
Janitor: Why should I?
Dr. Kelso: You know why.
Janitor: The bond that can't be broken. That was 20 years ago, but I'll honor the code.

Janitor: You seemed so happy in the Bahamas. How come you left?
[flashback:]
Dr. Kelso: I thought it was a nude beach.
Man: It was a church, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: So? Fine. I'll go. [runs back]
Man: Hey, stop him!
[present:]
Dr. Kelso: It was time to go.

Sunny: Oh, good. Someone already gave him the shot.
Janitor: Can I have that? I want to put it on something I'm making.
Sunny: I don't think that's okay.
Janitor: It's a hat.
Sunny: I'm gonna hang on to this.

J.D.: See, he's fine now. But when I get close. [Sam cries] Doesn't make any sense. Unless of course someone is shocking him by pressing a remote control button. What's that in your hand, Sean?
Sean: Yogurt.
J.D.: What's at the bottom of it?
Sean: Peach. Peaches.
J.D.: Give me that. [pokes his finger in the yogurt] You're clean.
Sean: Did you see what he did? That was my last yogurt.

Kim: What the hell are you doing?
J.D.: I don't know. Look, after my parents divorced, my dad really wasn't around for me. And I promised myself I was gonna be a better father than he was. Now, Sam cries like I'm some kind of stranger. And I like that Sean has a relationship with him, I do.
Sean: Thanks, man.
J.D.: I'm not talking to you, Sean.
Kim: You are a great dad.
J.D.: Then why can't I hold him?