‘The Presidential Suite’
Season 6, Episode 8 - Aired February 25, 2020
Johnny and Moira decide to sneak away to a classy room at the new motel. Meanwhile, David and Patrick have engagement photos taken, and Ted unexpectedly drops in on Alexis.
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Let's get to it, let's cut the ribbon. Roland.
Ronnie: Okay.
Johnny: Wanna hold that? Stevie, you wanna hold this, hold it up?
Stevie: Mr. Rose, do we really need to do this.
Johnny: Yeah, yes, yes we do. Moira, scissors. Hey, how about a drum roll, Stevie?
Stevie: I'd rather not.
Jocelyn: Yeah, you know what, I'm just gonna take off the blindfold.
Johnny: Okay. Moira, scissors please. Okay, what are these? These won't cut a ribbon.
Moira: They're cuticle shears, John. Do you expect hedge clippers to be drawn from my purse?
Quote from Jocelyn
Johnny: Okay, step one now complete, onto step two.
Moira: And what would that entail?
Johnny: Deep cleaning the rooms.
Moira: Well, I'd like to be put to use, what's step three?
Jocelyn: You know, I think I need to lie down, that blindfold was quite taut.
Quote from Ray
Ray: That's me in front of a volcano.
Patrick: Yeah.
Ray: In the jungle, in outer space, that's another volcano.
Quote from David
David: Ray, do you have anything that'll make us look a little less like the kind of couple that gets married at a theme park?
Patrick: Oh, I think what David is trying to say is maybe something a little simpler.
David: Yeah I'm looking for understated, Annie Leibowitz for Vanity Fair. I want us to look like two very rich people that have just woken up after fainting on a dusty old couch.
Quote from Ray
Ray: Mmm. I don't know if you've thought about wedding favors, but might I suggest mouse pads, I got thousands downstairs. Let me get you some samples.
David: Wonderful.
Quote from David
David: Anyway, I thought it would be festive if I got you a little pre-wedding gift.
Patrick: What?
David: Mm-hmm. I am sending you to get pampered before this afternoon's shoot.
Stevie: Do I get pampered?
David: No, you get to drive him to the spa where he will indulge in a relaxing five minute scalp massage followed by some light sun. That'll also give me enough time to art direct this situation 'cause clearly Ray wouldn't know my aesthetic if it ran him over.
Quote from Ray
Ray: Just as an example, here is a sample mouse pad that Jocelyn made for the computer lab at school. The Under the Sea theme is only available during winter months.
Quote from Ted
Alexis: You're here in the flesh. Hm, I missed you so much. Um, who's babysitting the turtles?
Ted: Well, I am a part of a team of 30 so they let me take the long weekend off.
Alexis: The long weekend? It's Sunday. It's over.
Ted: Yeah, I know, I was supposed to get here yesterday morning but my first connecting flight was delayed and then I got food poisoning from some bad milk on my second connecting flight.
Alexis: Ew Ted, they made you drink milk on the airplane?
Ted: No, I actually ordered it, and in my defence, they were serving cookies, so.
Quote from Ted
Alexis: Okay, so um, how long do we actually have then?
Ted: Just today.
Alexis: Oh my God. Okay. Then enough about the milk thing even though I have like 50 more questions about it.
Ted: Yeah, yeah, no need to milk it.
Alexis: Ooh, we definitely don't have time for that.
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Boy, I look at this place, untouched from the 60s. These motels were a gold mine, Roland, all they need is a little dusting.
Jocelyn: And bleach, lots of bleach.
Johnny: You know, there are boutique hotels that would kill for this level of authenticity. I'm thinking of turning this place into the Presidential Suite and charging a premium for it.
Moira: I'm reminded, John, of Shanghai and our Party Secretary Suite with its own aquarium. I'd lay in a claw-foot tub watching the orcas.
Roland: Joc.
Moira: And we're back.