Alexis: We are a "must-stay".
Johnny: What?!
Alexis: "The Rosebud Motel is a must-stay for any road-tripper, or weary traveller. This charming, lovingly restored, roadside motel is a welcome pit-stop for anyone looking for a clean room, and first-rate hospitality."
David: Compared to what, a haunted house?
Alexis: "In fact, Johnny Rose and his Guest Services manager, will go almost too far out of their way to ensure a pleasant stay."
David: How do I sign up for this turn-down service? Is there a clipboard, or something?

Ray: Knock, knock, everybody decent?
David: Oh, my God!
Patrick: Once again, Ray, saying "knock knock" is not the same thing as actually knocking.

Moira: And Zeljko says, "You eat, you expire pleasured." You expire pleasured.
Twyla: Okay. What are we talking about today? More Bosnia stories?
Ronnie: Yep, she never seems to run out of 'em.
Moira: Twyla, do you think it might be too much of an imposition to ask the chef to whip me up a kifla?
Twyla: What's a kifla?
Moira: Oh, how best to describe it.
Ronnie: I don't think you need to.

Johnny: Rolahnd, why don't you show Mr. Kaplan to his room?
Roland: Oh yes, formidab-le. If you would, uh, how do you say, um, voulez-vous with me please. I'll show you to your room.

Alexis: First of all, welcome to my office. Now I think we all know that most VIP guests wouldn't be caught dead at a motel like this, no offence. But I have been able to secure a V-VIP guest.
Johnny: Well, I'd go out on a limb and say all of our guests are very important, Alexis.
Alexis: That's cute.

David: Okay, I thought you were gonna talk to him about this. I let very few people see me before 9:00 AM.
Patrick: I did. The "knock knock" is him taking the note.
David: Well, you might want to invest in a "lock lock" then.

David: Ray: Gentlemen, you're gonna laugh, but I just remembered, we do have eggs. They're in the pantry, next to the pancake mix, which means they've been sitting out for days. Are we feeling lucky?
David: Can I still have the pancakes?
Ray: Yes!
Patrick: Ray!
Ray: Patrick?
Patrick: Door closed.
Ray: Of course.

Twyla: And don't worry about your solo, Jocelyn. I know it by heart. I actually sing it quietly every time you do it.
Jocelyn: I know, Twyla. And it's not that quiet. [baby wails]
Ronnie: Aw, it looks like somebody's up.
Moira: No rest for the wicked.
Jocelyn: Well, these days, either he's crying, or I am. Okay. See you l-l-later. Bye! Bye! I'll get the door. I'm sorry. Excuse me.

David: I'm feeling very apprehensive about the whole thing, like, I never saw myself living with someone.
Alexis: That makes total sense, considering how nobody you dated ever expressed any interest in that.
David: I'm pretty sure I can think of someone. By the end of the day, so.

Alexis: David, I think this could be good for you guys. And also I know you're thinking like, Alexis is becoming a major girl boss, and is she just saying this so she can expand her home office when I move out?
David: I actually wasn't thinking that at all.