Johnny: Hey, not bad! Rustic but nice, huh? The great outdoors, Moira.
Moira: I am shocked and delighted.
Johnny: Yes. I have to say I was nervous about this, but I've gotta hand it to Roland, he came through.
[later, as Johnny climbs through the kitchen window:]
Johnny: He's a moron! Key's under the mat, is it? The key is under the mat! Argh! That's great! Lying son-of-a Argh! Idiot man! Moron! [checking his shoulder for rips] Oh, good. [turns around to reveal a large tear in the back of his jacket]

David: So I need to flesh out this games night thing. Between you and my sister, and the barn guy and that girl in the restaurant, we have 5, and obviously we need an even 6 for ultimate game play.
Stevie: Well, what if I'm not a games person?
David: We're far too similar for you not to be, so... Options, please.

Stevie: Have fun.
David: Okay.
Stevie: My money's on the other team.

David: Yeah, I just, uh, came to apologize.
Stevie: For what?
David: For uninviting you to games night.
Stevie: You did not uninvite me. I uninvited myself.
David: Mm-hmm. Okay, well, um, I would really like it if you came and I would really love it if you could bring one other person of your choosing.
Stevie: So it doesn't matter if they don't blend?
David: Mmm-mmm.
Stevie: And this doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you couldn't find anybody else to come?
David: No. What? No. I- You are a very bright, funny person, with a wide range of useful knowledge and the fact that we don't have an ideal number for team style game-play, is not not why I'm here.
Stevie: You're such a liar. And I was bluffing when I said I wasn't coming. I just wanted to see you beg, so...
David: Okay.
Stevie: I'll put out some feelers, but, you know, such short notice, all the town hotties will have plans.

David: So, Eric, how do you know Stevie?
Eric: She used to be my babysitter.
David: Great. Wow. Okay. And how are your trivia skills?
Eric: My what?
David: Oh, my God. Okay. Good choice. Good choice.

Twyla: Okay, so I brought this pie from work but on the way, I realized I didn't check what kind so there's a 50/50 chance there's meat in it.

David: Okay, so it's 8:15. It's 8:15. We should have started at 8. So fifteen minutes late, let's sit down and I will explain the game.
Alexis: And I would just like to thank everybody so much for coming. This is the first social thing that I've done in like a really long time, so let's just have so much fun and we'll just see where the night takes us.
David: Well, it'll take us to a three part games night that ends at 10.
Alexis: Okay, well, we'll see.

David: Okay, so let's start. Let's start by putting down 10 famous names onto the pieces of paper in front of you.
Mutt: I don't think I can fit ten names on this piece of paper.
David: That's funny. That's funny. No. One per piece of paper. Ten pieces of paper, ten names.

Eric: Who should I put down?
David: I can't tell you that, Eric, 'cause that would wreck the game.
Eric: So then how do I know what to put?
David: Oh, my God.
Stevie: [whispering] Relax.
Twyla: Can you put yourself down?

Johnny: Wow.
Moira: Yeah.
Johnny: I can't see out of one eye. But I'm still alive, that's the main thing.
Moira: I'm hungry. Should I go get-
Johnny: No! No. You don't have to get anything. I will get some food, I will get the wine. You have done more than enough.