Alexis: Twyla?
Twyla: Hey, what's up?
Ted: Nothing.
Alexis: So, um, Ted ordered toast, not home fries, and he got home fries, so would you just be a peach, and-
Twyla: Oh, sorry.
Ted: No, you know what? It's okay. I'm good with it. I like home fries, I'm gonna eat 'em, so. First day of a cleanse, so she's a little whoo!

Mutt: You do know that just staring at the fence isn't gonna help me fix it, right?
Alexis: Yeah, I am. I'm just thinking about Ted, and how nice he is, and generous, like, almost too generous. And I just wanna grab him by the sweater sometime, and be like, "Stop being so generous and nice!"

Moira: David, we have guests! You were supposed to have cleaned up all these quality products.
David: I must've lost track of time.
Moira: Now the seating areas are covered in Allez Vous cosmetics.
David: I know, I just didn't want to put such high quality paraben and paba free product on the floor. Come on in.

Ted: Actually, I think I'm going to be getting lunch elsewhere.
Alexis: Can I come with you?
Ted: I don't think so.
Alexis: Now you get all decisive-y?

Moira: Well, if any of you do happen to have questions about the products, or how to make up to 600,000 dollars a year, I suppose I'd be willing to share with you what I know. [silence] In the meantime, please, eat, drink, to your possible beauty.

Marnie: How can I help you today, sir?
Johnny: Uh, yes, Johnny Rose, I have an appointment to get some money.
Marnie: Get some money?
Johnny: I need a cheque, preferably today. Ideally in the next few minutes, 'cause I have somebody waiting in the car.
Marnie: Well, we don't just give out money. First we need some information.
Johnny: Oh yeah, sure, yeah. Hm-hm.

Marnie: Let me walk you through this, Mr. Rose. Unless you can prove that you contributed, you don't qualify. If you were laid off, or fired, or could show that you were out looking for work, that would be a different story.
Johnny: I'd like to talk to your supervisor, please.
Marnie: I am the supervisor.
Johnny: And, may I say, doing a fantastic job.

David & Moira: [in unison] And who's interested?
Alexis: Well, it doesn't look like anybody's really interested.
David: Get out!

Marnie: Well, that's important information, Mr. Rose. You working for Roland makes you an employee.
Johnny: Oh, I forgot.
Marnie: Well, what were your duties?
Johnny: Well, I was in more of a consulting position.
Roland: Oh! No, no, no, no, no. It was not a consulting position, he was my assistant, he was like my little guy Friday. He would fetch things for me, I'd tell him where to go and he'd go running off, and fetching things for me. What were some of the things you fetched? You fetched like, uh-
Johnny: Coffee.
Roland: Coffee, you'd get that. And sometimes you'd have to-
Johnny: Get a hankie.
Roland: No, you'd pick up, you know-
Johnny: Cleaning, his dry cleaning.
Roland: Yeah, you'd have to do that, and then.
Johnny: Just when he didn't have time.
Roland: How about these guys down there, those are boots.
Johnny: Nothing with the boots, I don't think there was-
Roland: Oh, there was something with the boots.
Johnny: Polish them every once in a while.
Roland: Every now and then, he had to do that, too. He was a hell of a worker and I really, really needed him, because you know how busy I can get.

Alexis: Hey, I come in peace.
Ted: What's this?
Alexis: I don't know, it's a pre-shave follicle mask or something, I took it from the pile of product that nobody bought.
Ted: Sweet gesture.
Alexis: I'm sorry for being rude. You have to understand that you're the first nice guy that I've dated.