Moira: Well, good afternoon. Everyone have a full glass, I hope? We've wanted to have you all here for ages, you've all so graciously welcomed us into your heavenly hamlet. Now, if you'll be so good as to follow me, David is setting out some hors d'oeuvres in our adjoining suite.

David: I was just so excited about Allez Vous' exclusive anti-aging formula, and rejuvenation serums. Alexis, you'd like this product. It's all about aging, and dry skin.
Alexis: Oh, my God, ew, David!

Marnie: And your reason for being out of work?
Johnny: I sold my business, and I got screwed by my business manager.
Marnie: Did you pay into unemployment insurance?
Johnny: I don't know, maybe I did, maybe I didn't. It never came across my desk. I uh-
Moira: We can't give you money unless you contributed to the program.
Johnny: I don't think you're understanding, I employed people, hundreds of people. You see, and now I'm unemployed.
Marnie: But that doesn't mean you qualify for unemployment.
Johnny: I lost my job!
Marnie: You lost your business.
Johnny: Okay, let me walk you through this. You see, I need money to get back on my feet so I can employ more people, that might actually end up saving you money in the long run now, am I the only one who understands how an economy works around here?!

Jocelyn: Moira, honey, that champagne Audi is really hard to get.
Moira: Excuse me?
Jocelyn: Take it from me, Roland and I have been Allez Vous reps for two years, and we're still driving that old truck.
Moira: Sorry, you're- You're an Allez Vous consultant?
Jocelyn: I'm actually an executive area manager.
Ronnie: I'm a district manager.
Twyla: I'm an executive district manager.
Stevie: I gave up.

Jocelyn: The Allez Vous craze hit the town a couple years ago, and you should've seen us. In two weeks we had sold everything to the other half of town, and vice versa.
Alexis: That's- That's funny.
Jocelyn: It became a bit incestuous, yeah, very small sales pool. It became literally impossible to climb the ladder. Anywho, good luck.

Alexis: I just really want my family to like you.
Ted: They don't like me?
Alexis: No, they do! They do, they've just always seen nice as a sign of weakness, they take advantage of nice.
Ted: No, nice does not always mean weak, it's-
Alexis: Okay, so get mad, then. Say something super mean.
Ted: What, I can't just turn it on in an instant, like you can.
Alexis: Okay well, consider it a kind of role play then, and just let it out.
Ted: I- I don't know. I find your brother can be a little pretentious sometimes.
Alexis: Yes, yes! He is so pretentious, and it is so gross.

Alexis: This is good, keep going.
Ted: Well, and your mother seems to be a little uninformed at times.
Alexis: She's uninformed most of the time. This is great, this is really good. Keep going!
Ted: Well, and you, what about you? Are you just going to sit around all day, while I work and buy you dinners? You've gotta go out there and get a job- [Alexis shakes her finger at Ted] Too far?
Alexis: Mm-hmm. It's too far, okay.

Bob: Okay, well, let's get 'er hooked up, get you back to the garage, and we'll start on the paperwork.
Johnny: What paperwork?
Bob: It's all filled in, you just have to sign it, and, uh, she's all yours.
Johnny: I'm not buying this car.
Bob: You change your mind?
Johnny: It broke. Twice! It's a broken car!
Bob: We'll play a little hardball, okay. I'll knock twenty bucks off.
Johnny: You couldn't get twenty bucks for scrap.
Bob: Oh, all right, thirty bucks.
Johnny: How about zero bucks?! I wouldn't give you a dime for this!
Bob: Johnny, you're killing me here. Fifty bucks.
Johnny: Oh, you know what, Bob, I'm walking. I'm walking.
Bob: I'll throw in a couple of floor mats, but that's my final offer.
Johnny: Walking!

Roland: Listen, as the owner of the truck, would you do me one favour, though? When you return it, can you bring the seats back up, the way I had 'em, I'd appreciate that.
Johnny: I do.
Roland: Well, you don't. But if could, I'd appreciate it, that'd be great.
Johnny: Well, I think I do.

Roland: And also, when you return it, if you don't mind just backing it in, because in the morning, I have to kinda crick.
Johnny: Yeah, I'll back it in, I'll back it in!
Roland: My neck like that, if you could back it in that would be terrific.
Johnny: Sure, I'll back it in.
Roland: The wiper fluid, um, I had to replace sooner than usual. Now, I'm not asking-
Johnny: I don't touch the wiper fluid!
Roland: Well, okay, somebody did.
Johnny: I never use it.
Roland: Yeah well, I guess your "imaginary friend" uses wiper fluid, right? I don't know. I'm not asking for payback here, but whatever you think is fair would be terrific.
Johnny: Okay, I never use it, though.
Roland: The radio was at a four. I like it at a ten, so...