Leslie Knope: Mmm. This was such a good idea. Should we get another round?
Ann: Um... I think we should get a more basic, no-nonsense beverage.
Tom: [laughs] Uh... maybe we should all just drink sensible portions of milk.
Leslie Knope: I mean, I love him. It's just... This campaign has turned fun, dorky Ben into grumpy, stress-ball Ben. It's like dealing with a strict mother who I am confusingly attracted to. Ben is like a MILF.

Donna: Jerry. Jerry! Maybe you should wrap it up. It's 4:00 in the morning.
Jerry: Is it really? [laughing] Oh, my gosh. Wow. Well, that flew by, huh? I will just take these down to the post office and, uh, put the, uh... Oh, jeez. Oh, no. I put the handout flyers in the mailing envelopes, and I was supposed to put these flyers in the envelopes.
Donna: Oh... My God.
Jerry: Well, you know, it's like I always say. It ain't government work if you don't have to do it twice. Here we go! [whistles]
Donna: I'll make some coffee.

[As Jerry keeps licking envelopes:]
Jerry: I'm gonna keep plugging away for a bit.
Donna: You don't mind this work, do you?
Jerry: Uh-uh. I like it. It makes sense to me.

Andy: Susan Bronwell, or B., Anthony, was born in Adams, Massachusetts, in 1820, and she played a pivotal role in the institution of women's suffrage.
Professor Linda Lonegan: Andy.
Andy: Treat, please.
Professor Linda Lonegan: Andy, slow down. You're taking this class pass/fail. So I'm just looking for a freewheeling discussion about, you know, what you got from the class.
Andy: Oh. Okay. [chuckles] I would say what I find very cool about Susan B. Anthony is... How... She was born in Adams, Massachusetts, in 1820. You know? Just one man's opinion.

Waitress Kendra: Hi, there. Would you like to hear our specials?
Ron Swanson: No need. Porterhouse, rare, quickly.
Andy: Same.

Leslie Knope: It's my new interview outfit. Like, "hey, nice to meet you." Can't wait for the interview."
Ben: Um, I--maybe the h-- maybe the hat.
Ann: Yeah.
Leslie Knope: Lose this?
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: To win an election, you have to be good, and you have to be lucky. Buddy Wood hosts the number-one morning show in Indianapolis, and he wants to interview me for a series he's doing on local elections. And last year the five people that he profiled all won. This is a huge break for us.

April: Who was Laura Mulvey?
Andy: Laura Mulvey was... A guy...
April: Girl.
Andy: Right. Women's studies. They're all girls. Laura Mulvey was a feminist film critic who wrote a major essay that helped shift the orientation of film theory to the psychoanalytical framework! Treat, please.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: I'm about to take my first-ever final for my women's studies class. Usually, tests scare me, but this is an oral exam. Uh, and if there's one thing I know is... My fantastic-- it's talk.

Ann: God, he is more tightly wound than ever.
Tom: Maybe we should see if he can pull that rod out of his butt and we can hang some of those outfits on it. [Ann giggles]
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Ann and I have the occasional rough patch in our relationship. But right now, we're really in a groove. We've gone 30 hours without breaking up. Our personal best is 47 hours. It happened when she was out of town for two days and she forgot we were dating.

Donna: Okay, I'm calling it. I have a date with my bathtub, a glass of red wine, and a gigantic fireman named Marcus.

Leslie Knope: [answers phone] Hello. Lady Knope. I mean Leslie Knope.
Ben: Hey.
Leslie Knope: Oh, hey, Ben.
Ben: Where are you?
Leslie Knope: I'm in, uh, the house watching TV right now. I'm watching, um...
Ann: Murder She Wrote.
Leslie Knope: Murder She Wrote. I'm watching Murder She Wrote.