‘How a Bill Becomes a Law’
Season 5, Episode 3 - Aired October 4, 2012
Leslie is introduced to the world of political horse trading when she champions a bill which would keep the local pool open for longer. Chris launches a 311 phone service for residents to get help from the town council. Ron and Andy make a house call when a resident complains about a pot hole. Meanwhile, Ben and April set off on a road trip to Pawnee.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Diane is awesome and she likes you. And you like her. I can tell.
Ron Swanson: "A," I don't recall inviting you in here, and "B," I did not like her. She's not my type. Her life is messy.
Andy: Ron, messy is fun, okay? My whole life is a giant mess and I love it. I mean, look at my hair. I have gum in my hair.
Ron Swanson: Listen, I will not pursue Diane. End of story.
Quote from Ben
Ben: That was a great road trip. We made it 40 feet.
April: Yeah, well, at least it took a million hours, and it was 180 degrees, and we starved to death.
Ben: So fun. [both laugh] Hey, how about next weekend we fly to Pawnee? Tickets are on me.
April: Really? That would be awesome. Definitely.
Ben: Nah, never mind. I don't feel like it.
April: What? Oh, my God.
Ben: See how it feels?
April: [laughs]
Quote from Ron Swanson
Chris: Excellent work, everyone! Particularly you, Ron. You have one very satisfied citizen. What did you do for her?
Ron Swanson: I fixed her pothole.
Chris: Is that a euphemism?
Ron Swanson: No.
Chris: Then great work. In fact, she's out in the hallway and wants to thank you herself.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Okay, so let's get ready for the photo, guys. I want you to arrange yourselves from most excited about democracy to least excited. Wait a minute. Everybody's excited? I bet you are! Because your bill just became law.
Councilman Jamm: Boy, you know, I can't believe you traded your office to keep this craphole pool open for a couple more weeks a year.
Leslie Knope: Hey, can you not say that in front of the kids, please? I'm trying to teach them how great government is.
Councilman Jamm: Oh, this is a teaching moment? Great. Hey, uh, kids? Would you like to learn how Leslie got your bill passed? Councilwoman Knope traded my vote for her-
[Tom pushes Councilman Jamm in the pool]
Councilman Jamm: What the hell, man? Why'd you do that?
Tom: Um...
Leslie Knope: Um, because it's fun in the sun! Everybody in the pool!
Tom: Yay, pool!
Leslie Knope: Yay, democracy! Oh, no, my perm.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Ta da. What do you see?
Tom: Your new city council office.
Leslie Knope: Yes. And it is across the courtyard from your office, so we can wave at each other. But it is also Pawnee's newest and most exclusive cigar club, Tom's Smokehouse.
Tom: Whoa! "Smoke Dog."
Leslie Knope: And the Tommy Haverford member's chair.
Tom: Now you're talking.
Leslie Knope: Man, Jamm's gotta be pretty mad at us.
Leslie Knope: I ain't scared of him. He's a punk. To making things happen.
Tom: I'll puff to that. [smokes cigar] I do not like this.