‘Flu Season 2’
Season 6, Episode 19 - Aired April 10, 2014
When the flu hits Pawnee again, Leslie and Andy must work through their sickness to find another headliner for the unity concert. Tom and his colleagues attend a wine-tasting event as he searches for a sommelier. Meanwhile, Ben is worked up about his parents selling their lake house and, on a long walk home, runs into Ron Dunne (guest star Sam Elliott).
Quote from Tom
Tom: [aside to camera] Today at a local vineyard, a bunch of sommeliers - aka, wine experts - are going to be competing for their certification. I'm gonna hire the best one at my new restaurant... [clicks tongue] Tom's Bistro. People that convince other people to buy expensive stuff they don't need, those are the real heroes.
Quote from Andy
Andy: I guess now that we got Chipp McCapp as our headliner, I can get rid of my awesome wish list.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, those are long shots. "Bob Dylan's friends"?
Andy: Well, I just thought maybe they could get Bob Dylan to come.
Quote from Tom
Tom: [aside to camera] My main target for Tom's Bistro: Xander Truffant. He's the best young somm in the game. I don't say this lightly, he's basically the Bruno Mars of Indiana amateur wine tasting.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ben: Sorry. Just weird family business.
Ron Swanson: Sounds private. No need to discuss it with me.
Ben: My parents had this small little vacation house on Lake Hubbard, and now they've sold it without telling the rest of us.
Ron Swanson: Did you not hear me say there was no need to discuss it with me?
Ben: My dad sent me this check out of the blue, my share of the profits. It's so disrespectful to the family structure.
Ron Swanson: Maybe a drink will help. Put some alcohol in your mouth to block the words from coming out.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ben: So mad at my parents. I mean, they both wanted the house for Columbus Day weekend, and they fought so much that they decided to just sell it to spite each other--
Ron Swanson: More wine, less talking.
Ben: You know, you are a wonderful guy, and I admire many things about you, but you're a terrible person to discuss personal problems with.
Ron Swanson: Thank you, friend. That really means a lot to me.
Quote from April
April: You know in the movies, when the cops show up and find lipstick on a wine glass next to a dead body? This is that wine.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: This is him right here. I will also get out here and walk home.
Ron Dunne: You sure? This thing runs on vegetable oil and bat guano. Actually cleans the air as it drives.
Ron Swanson: Quite sure. Thank you.
Quote from Andy
Leslie Knope: All we need to do is go to Indianapolis, convince Chipp to do the festival, and then, you know, head home.
Andy: Are you sure you're feeling up for this, boss?
Leslie Knope: I'm fine. I've had the flu before, and I worked through it.
Andy: Okay, well, if you do collapse, luckily I know first aid. Or karate.
Leslie Knope: That's not first aid.
Andy: It is if you do it right. [karate chops] Heimlich!
Quote from Leslie Knope
Andy: Oh, well, here's something that's gonna make you feel really good. Guess who I just secured as the headliner for the unity concert. Chipp McCapp.
Leslie Knope: No!
Andy: Yes!
Leslie Knope: Nice! Wait, no. I don't want to touch your hand.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Chipp McCapp is the most amazing 17-year-old country singer in the entire world. He's, like, Indiana's sweetheart.
Andy: We are huge "Chipp Monks." That's what his fans call themselves. I don't know why. "Chipmunks." Because of the animal? No, that's too simple.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, okay, his latest song, "Beautiful Like My Mom (Support The Troops)", has, like, 2 million hits on YouTube.
Quote from Craig
Tom: Donna, April, wine country train is leaving the station. You ready?
Craig: I want to come. I love wine and everything about it: the soil, the vines. I studied Botany for three years at Purdue University. Go, boilermakers!