Donna: Chris, you might want to take a jacket with you. It's about to get cold out there.
Chris: Thanks, Donna, but Millicent's company will keep me warm.
Donna: Take the jacket.

April: [aside to camera] I wished for his happiness to go away. I might be a wizard.

Leslie Knope: Hey, Derek. What a defeat, man. I mean, I did not expect to win by that much. But I warned you, I am a good bowler.
Derek: Whatever.
Leslie Knope: All joking aside, I wanna say that I actually had fun. And I'm really looking forward to your vote in the spring.
Derek: Yeah, I'll just write in "bitch."
Ben: I'm sorry, what did you just say?
Leslie Knope: Just ignore him. He's being a jerk.
Derek: I said she's a bitch.
[Ben punches Derek in the face]
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God.
Derek: What the hell?
Ben: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Leslie Knope: That was awesome.
Ben: I'm so sorry.
Leslie Knope: Oh, look. Here's that photo op you wanted.

Ben: So... you know... that's everything that happens so it was just what happened. It was just like... [imitates gunfire]
Police Officer: What's wrong with you?
Ben: I don't know, I just... I have a lot of adrenaline right now.

Tom: King Kong ain't got nothing on me. Ow, my "fingie" still hurts.
Ann: Oh, the bravery. The perseverance. You're an American hero.
Tom: And the best part is, beautiful, you get to drive the champion home.

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Well, the headline I would've gone with is "No-strike-bowling bowler struck by Knope's striking beau."

April: Hi.
Chris: April Ludgate. How are you doing?
April: Uh, whatever. I'm fine. Um, how are you?
Chris: Well, as you may know, Millicent Gergich ended our relationship last night, which was disappointing. But here's why it may be the greatest thing that ever happened...
April: Yeah, good point. Hadn't thought about it that way. Um, here. Take these tickets.
Chris: Oh, no, no, no. Y-you earned them.
April: They're movie tickets, Chris. They're, like, 8 bucks. It's a gesture.
Chris: There are three of them. I thought there were only two.
April: Yeah, I know, I bought another one because I thought that maybe you, me, and Andy could go to the movies sometime. Just take the stupid tickets. I'm just trying to be nice.
Chris: Thank you.
April: There you go. [briefly hugs Chris] Okay, bye.

Tom: Okay, what are your overall impressions of this woman? What do you like about her? What don't you like about her?
Woman: I like her.
Tom: What do you like about her specifically?
Woman: I don't know. She's tough, I guess. I just like her.
Man: I like that that one guy punched that other guy, and then I like that she stood by him.
[on the other side of the glass:]
Ben: See? People vote with their gut.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, that guy said he didn't like my earrings. Go punch him.
Ben: Sure.