Ann: Leslie, this is the most incredible event that has ever been thrown. There is a pilgrim line dancing with a box of candies. Why do you look so bummed out?
Leslie Knope: We were planning a surprise groundbreaking at Pawnee commons for you. You know, an actual beginning to the project that brought us together. But now we can't do it because Harold is such a jerk face. He put a barbed wire fence around the lot and now it's not happening. I'm sorry, Ann.
Ann: First of all, don't apologize. And second of all, screw Harold. If I learned one thing from Leslie Knope it is we do not take "No" for an answer. Anything is possible if we work hard enough. Let's do it.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God! Ann Perkins to the rescue. Okay, hands in, everybody. One, two, three. Groundbreaking!
Ann: Let's go!
April: Dark forces, arise!
Leslie Knope: Okay, I didn't plan what we were all gonna say. That's my bad. Here we go, Ann. Let's go.

Leslie Knope: It is not easy. Kathryn Pinewood is the person on earth who hates me the most.
Ann: Well, luckily, you're with the person on earth who loves you the most. Too cheesy?
Leslie Knope: No, it's perfect. I love you. Don't leave. Come on.

Chris: Donna, you are a remarkable woman, and I just wanted to say that I've always thought of you as family.
Donna: I just wanna say that I've always thought you were hot.
Chris: Yes, I know.

Chris: April.
April: Yeah, you saw a lot of potential in me, I'm like a daughter to you, and it was a treat to watch me blossom. Blah blah blah, bye.
Chris: That is remarkably close to what I was going to say. Also, I'm proud of you. [hugs Donna and April] Donna, are you grabbing my butt?
Donna: Can you blame me?
Chris: [chuckles] No.

Kathryn Pinewood: Sorry, can't help you ladies. I don't have time for disgraced former politicians and unmarried preggos.
Leslie Knope: Oh, Kathryn, always a delight.
Ann: Listen, I know that you and Leslie have had your disagreements in the past, but we really need the key, and we can only get the key if we get the sodas. Please?
Kathryn Pinewood: I don't see why I should do you any favors. I mean, if you were still a city councilor, maybe. But I seem to remember you were recalled. Is that right?
Leslie Knope: How dare yo--
Ann: Okay, Leslie. Please. It's not worth it. For you. For me, I don't care.
Kathryn Pinewood: [gasps] What the hell?
Ann: Yeah, Pinewood, that's right. I'm pregnant and I have you in a headlock. And if you try to fight back, I will sue you. Unless you tell us how to get those sodas right now.

Pete: They already tried to get me to endorse that sports drink. I said "No." They want me dunking on the label. When is this town gonna realize that I'm more than a former high school basketball star?
Leslie Knope: I don't think this new sports drink is even about basketball.
Pete: It's called "Sweetums dunktastic three-point B-ball blast". The slogan is "It's all about basketball." I'm sorry, you're gonna have to find yourself some other famous Pawneean.

Jerry: Well, we could just tell him the truth that we feel bad that we didn't get him anything nice.
Tom: [chuckles] Tell the truth? That's hilarious. No. We tell him we had the perfect gift, but we were robbed at gunpoint. "Chris, he had a gun. He took all the gifts." Now Chris feels bad, he's buying us gifts. Next thing you know, Tommy's got a new watch.

Ben: Listen, Chris, we have to tell you something. We feel bad because you got us such thoughtful gifts and we got you three pans and a bag of nothing.
Chris: Guys, I don't need anything from you. My buddy boxes are about the past, but let's focus on the future. Because we're always gonna be friends. And just the fact that you feel bad about your bag of nothing proves that. To the future.
All: Hear, hear. To the future.
Ben: [to Ron] I have an idea.

Harold: You two are a couple of real pains in the ass. You know that?
Leslie Knope: Harold, your tiny brain could not understand this, but that is the best compliment you could ever give the two women standing in front of you. Bye, Harold.

Ann: Pawnee raccoons. That is one thing I will not miss.
April: Well, Michigan has wolverines. Maybe they'll eat your toes.
Ann: So how long do you think you'll stay in Pawnee for?
April: I don't know. We like it here. I made Andy promise that someday we'll move to Transylvania, but that probably won't happen till we're, like, 100.