Mark: Leslie, can I run something by you really quick?
Leslie Knope: Sure, I love having things run by me.
Mark: I feel like you're being sarcastic right now.
Leslie Knope: No, no, I'm not. genuinely love it. Run it by me. Go ahead. Go go go.

Ron Swanson: Why don't you take as many as you can and I'll cover the rest?
Leslie Knope: I have a better idea. Why don't I try to rustle up seven more meetings 'cause I think it would be cooler If there were an even 100.
Ron Swanson: Just- Why don't we just stick to these 93 and see how it goes.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, okay.

Leslie Knope: This is the perfect distraction for me. Okay, so I have everything I need, right? I have a fresh cup of coffee, comfy, fur-lined boots.
Tom: I'm gonna need those boots back by the end of the day.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, no problem. They're actually a little narrow for me.

Bill Haggardy: Bill Haggardy, Pawnee historical society. I'm supposed to be meeting with Ron Swanson.
Leslie Knope: I understand that. He's tied up right now.
Bill Haggardy: What a shocker. I've been trying to meet with him three months and now he's not available. It's probably too late now, but, uh, some rich woman, Jessica Wicks, has rented out Turnbill Mansion for a party and she's making alterations.
Leslie Knope: "Alterations"?
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Turnbill Mansion is one of the most beloved historical sites in Pawnee. In 1867, the progressive Reverend Turnbill officiated a wedding between a white woman and a Wamapoke Indian chief. The secret ceremony was beautiful and romantic. But then word got out and the reception was a bloodbath. Fortunately, there were two survivors. Unfortunately, they were both horses.

Leslie Knope: Tom, I'll meet you at the car.
Ron Swanson: Where the hell are you going? We have 91 more meetings.
Leslie Knope: I'm sorry, Ron. As much as I would like to go for the all-time, City Hall single day meetings record, there is an emergency. Someone is trying to alter a gazebo.

Leslie Knope: Oh, hey, Ann. Sorry I can't hang out. I kind of have an emergency.
Ann: Oh, I'm actually here to see mark.
Leslie Knope: Right. Oh, well, thanks for the coffee.
Ann: That's also for Mark.
Leslie Knope: Mm. I really need it though. But next time more sugar. Okay, thanks. Bye!

April: Um, do you want me to postpone the rest? Or I could set myself on fire and create a diversion.
Ron Swanson: No. I'm gonna do all of these today. Round up whoever's free. I'm gonna need more Ron Swansons.

Ron Swanson: Right, now the four of us are going to divvy up all these meetings. Just make 'em feel like they've been heard. Understood?
Andy: Yes, sir. Burt Macklin, FBI, on the case.
Ron Swanson: April, you take Leslie's office. Andy, you're in the conference room. Ann, take your meetings in the courtyard. Just sit there and don't ruin the city. Dismissed.
Ron Swanson: What are you doing?
Andy: Can I get a badge?

Woman: I represent the Ultimate Frisbee League.
Andy: Pawnee has an ultimate league?
Woman: Yes. And we keep running into conflicts-
Andy: You won me over. I will join your team.
Woman: I'm sorry, um, what we need-
Andy: When does practice start? And do you provide the jerseys? What color are the jerseys by the way? What's our team name? Are we "The Lightning"?

Leslie Knope: Well, thank God you haven't torn down the gazebo yet.
Jessica Wicks: Ugh. Don't remind me. The demolition people couldn't get here until this afternoon. I've had to look at that ugly thing all day long.
Leslie Knope: Ugly thing? Let me tell you a little something about this ugly thing, ma'am. 150 years ago, an interracial couple was married here and then slaughtered by their own families. It's one of the most beautiful stories in Pawnee's history. Why are you trying to destroy it?
Jessica Wicks: Don't tell me about Pawnee history. The Newports made this town. And tonight, we're going to celebrate his 85th birthday without this mushy, old, pile of rot.
Leslie Knope: Your husband's a mushy, old, pile of rot.
Jessica Wicks: You were a stick in the mud when we judged that beauty pageant and you're being a stick in the mud now!
Leslie Knope: I am not a stick in the mud! I-I just want to stop a party from happening.