‘The Apartment’
Season 5, Episode 11 - Aired March 15, 2016
Jess is looking forward to a fun night with Cece, who is about to leave her apartment and move into the loft, until she learns Cece hasn't started packing yet. Meanwhile, Winston's feelings for Aly prompt him to ask for a new partner.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Look who I brought. The French. Bonjour. Oh, it's Prosecco, it's Italian. So grazie. Oh, it's Polish Prosecco. So that's on me for buying it at a gas station.
Quote from Cece
Jess: I'm looking forward to a fun night!
Cece: Okay, Jess, I should tell you before I... I know I said I was done packing, but I'm not done, and the reason I'm not done is because I didn't do anything, and I have to get out before tomorrow, otherwise I lose my deposit.
Jess: Oh, Cece.
Cece: I know.
Jess: Cece, Cece, Cece. ... Cece, Cece, Cece, Cece, Cece...
Quote from Schmidt
Nick: It's not gonna end well for these two.
Schmidt: I wouldn't trust him to watch a ball pit.
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: I'm calling the cops. There is a man pulling out his privates in our bar.
Nick: Oh, big whoop. It used to be worse. It used to be more interactive.
Schmidt: What do mean, interactive?
Nick: Interactive.
Schmidt: You showed, too?
Nick: No, it was more like tennis, like... [snapping fingers] Exit.
Schmidt: What's the second...
Nick: [snapping fingers] Now it's just... And I'm...
Quote from Winston
Winston: Yeah, I usually ride shotgun because I get motion sickness as a decision-maker.
Dunston: Yeah, well, I lose all hand strength with absolutely no warning. Just...
Winston: Damn it.
Quote from Winston
Aly: Just responding to a call about a flasher.
Winston: Oh, yes. Uh, there is no need. Dunston and I have got this, so...
Aly: Oh, how is Dunston? Huh? I hear he's blind and weird.
Winston: No. No, he's great.
Aly: Ah.
Winston: Dunston gets it done... ston. And that's how we win.. ston!
Quote from Cece
Jess: Look, Cece, I know you're freaking out about leaving the apartment, but if you think of it like...
Cece: No. It's just, it's not just the apartment. It's just... it's... it's all of it. Everything is changing! I'm not gonna have this place anymore, and I'm getting married. Oh, my God, Jess, I'm getting married.
Jess: Are you having second thoughts?
Cece: No, no. I... I know I want to marry Schmidt more than anything in the world. It's just... everything is gonna
change, and I am scared.
Jess: Oh, honey. Oh, my little breakfast link.
Quote from Cece
Cece: You know what it is? It's just that there's no turning back. I mean, who am I when I leave this apartment? "Mrs. Cece Schmidt?"
Schmidt: "Cece Schmidt" sounds like the mayor of an evil Swiss town. [both laugh]
Cece: It does. Oh, my God. Did I tell you that Schmidt thinks that we should drop our last names and make up a new one? He is currently, at the moment, leaning towards Zenith and Telluride.
Jess: I don't hate Telluride.
Quote from Cece
Cece: Getting married is just such a big leap.
Jess: You leap big all the time! You moved here at 18 with nothing but a bunch of chokers.
[flashback:]
Younger Cece: Isn't it amazing?! And it's mine.
Younger Jess: Yeah, there's also a knife stuck in the wall. Oh, look! Someone left a spoon with some rock candy in it. I wonder what flavor it is.
[present:]
Cece: This is a way bigger leap.
Quote from Winston
Winston: We don't have much to go on, but I'll run your description. Hopefully, Dunston wouldn't have spilled coffee all over the radio. You know, he brews his own and drinks it out of a sandwich bag.
Schmidt: Winston, just call Aly and tell her that you want to be partners again.
Winston: Ugh. Look, guys, I... I cannot. I just cannot hear about Aly's boyfriend and his ass that don't quit, okay? My ass don't quit! What about my ass?!
Schmidt: Winston, please call Aly.
Nick: Seriously, dude.