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‘Goosebumps Walkaway’ Quotes

New Girl: Goosebumps Walkaway

510. Goosebumps Walkaway

Aired March 8, 2016

As Reagan prepares to leave the loft, Nick wants to find the perfect parting message. Meanwhile, Jess returns home and tries to track down a fellow juror.

Quote from Nick

Nick: I'm going to shut up until we say good-bye. And then... I'm gonna hit her with a Goosebumps Walkaway.
Schmidt: I don't know who he is. Is he an old-fashioned baseball player?
Nick: Goosebumps Walkaway is the line that they guy says to the girl in the movie that gives her goosebumps and then he walks away forever. It's that line that...
Schmidt: That haunts her. That consumes her. That rings in her ear for all of eternity, granting you...
Both: [whispering] Immortality.
Nick: You're damn right. Immortality.

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Quote from Winston

Winston: All right, man. I'm gonna take off. I gotta head to the station before my dance gathering.
Schmidt: You can't go to the station like that. They'll make fun of you.
Winston: When are you gonna stop worrying about what people say? When I look into my suggestion box, it is full. [laughs] People have a lot to say about the way I live my life. But there is only one comment card that I pay attention to. And you know what that card says? It says, "Great job. Keep it up." And you know who filled out that card? Me. You know how I know? Because I recognize my motherfreakin' handwriting. [backs away]
Schmidt: Now that's a Goosebumps Walkaway.

Quote from Nick

Nick: So you and Jess are just talking. I can only imagine what you guys are talking about. Well... I can't stand it for another second. I have to address the 800-pound gorilla that's in this room.
Jess: It's elephant in the room. 800-pound gorilla is a different thing.
Nick: Okay, I guess I have to address the 800-pound elephant that's in the middle of the room.
Reagan: It's just elephant. The 800 pounds, that goes with the gorilla thing.
Jess: 800 pounds is not a very big elephant.

Quote from Winston

Jess: Winston's weekly letters. 90% redacted, but still full of news. "I'll leave you with my thoughts on the trial." Big black line, big black line.
Winston: They redacted that stuff?
Jess: Big black line. "LOL." Big black line. "Gotta go, or I'll be late for my first dance class."
Winston: You know, actually the dance class has become more of a dance gathering.
Cece: You know what, maybe Schmidt and I will join you, because the wedding is almost here, and we have to work on our first dance.
Winston: Come. I mean, you know, two more referrals and I get to have my birthday party there.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Jess! Reagan and I were romantic together.
Jess: Ooh. I didn't know that.
Nick: Which means I've been romantic with both of you.
Jess: Cool.
Nick: And it's not just because you have brown hair and you've shared this room. But because you're great, top-shelf ladies. And I had the opportunity, and so I reached in the cookie jar, and I grabbed a chocolate chip and an oatmeal. And I'm not saying who's who. [sighs] I've gotten off-track. Your worlds must be turned absolutely upside down. This must be devastating, as it is to me. We're all feeling emotions we couldn't even begin to discuss. A lot of us are having bad anxiety, and our legs are feeling weird and tingly.

Quote from Jess

Jess: That's the most embarrassed I've ever been for anyone not doing improv.
Reagan: He's being so weird. I gotta get out of here for the day.
Jess: Well, how would you like to drive around Los Angeles and look for a juror? [sings to The Golden Girls theme] Thank you for being Reagan Travel to the car And find a juror Your heart is true, but you're not walking fast enough.

Quote from Jess

Reagan: What was wrong with him?
Jess: He never got why Bunt v. Che was a relevant precedent. Also he wheezed... a lot. Like the door of a haunted house.
Reagan: He has asthma. We can find that guy and see if he knows anything. I used to peddle inhalers. What color was his?
Jess: Oh, uh... red. Like the door of a haunted house! Sorry. [laughs] The only group excursion we took was to a haunted house. By the way, if you like haunted houses but hate lines, January's a great time to go...

Quote from Schmidt

Nick: No way it's him!
Winston: Whoa...
Nick: What are the odds?
Schmidt: Well, exactly one in 11, Nick.

Quote from Winston

Winston: Man, they sound like Cookie Monster's parents.

Quote from Reagan

Nick: [answers phone] Hey, I was just about to call you.
Reagan: Nick, look, there's something that I wish I would've said to you last night, but I didn't, so I'm gonna say it right now. Sayonara, Sammy.
Nick: [to himself] Those are such beautiful words. I'm Sammy. [clears throat]
Reagan: Hello?
Nick: Reagan... I'm gonna need some time to process everything you just said.
Reagan: Yeah. I really put myself out there.
Nick: Yeah. I... Hey... in light of recent events, I think it's important that we have each other's current information. Reagan: I mean, I know I have your phone number because I just dialed it and I have your address because I lived there. 'Cause Jess said it on TV. I've got a flight to catch.
Nick: Me, too.
Reagan: Bye, Nick.

Quote from Jess

Jess: Gah! What are you doing here?
Nick: Well, it's been six weeks since we've talked and I was ready to talk. You and Gary looked great on television.
Jess: [sighs] Well, that's how I want you to remember us: Blurry and talking like Zuul.
Nick: Well, then, mission accomplished?

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Come here.
Nick: I want to say good-bye to you. But it's not true. So-so bad-bye, Reagan. Bad... bye.
Schmidt: Okay, that was terrible. Now, go write 20 more. Learn them, inhabit them, practice them, and then throw those away. Then write another 20 and submit them to me for my approval.
Nick: Can bad-bye be one of them?
Schmidt: No.
Nick: So 40 new ones.
Schmidt: Yeah.
Nick: That's too... that's excessive.


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