Winston: All right, man. I'm gonna take off. I gotta head to the station before my dance gathering.
Schmidt: You can't go to the station like that. They'll make fun of you.
Winston: When are you gonna stop worrying about what people say? When I look into my suggestion box, it is full. [laughs] People have a lot to say about the way I live my life. But there is only one comment card that I pay attention to. And you know what that card says? It says, "Great job. Keep it up." And you know who filled out that card? Me. You know how I know? Because I recognize my motherfreakin' handwriting. [backs away]
Schmidt: Now that's a Goosebumps Walkaway.

Nick: I'm going to shut up until we say good-bye. And then... I'm gonna hit her with a Goosebumps Walkaway.
Schmidt: I don't know who he is. Is he an old-fashioned baseball player?
Nick: Goosebumps Walkaway is the line that they guy says to the girl in the movie that gives her goosebumps and then he walks away forever. It's that line that...
Schmidt: That haunts her. That consumes her. That rings in her ear for all of eternity, granting you...
Both: [whispering] Immortality.
Nick: You're damn right. Immortality.

Nick: So you and Jess are just talking. I can only imagine what you guys are talking about. Well... I can't stand it for another second. I have to address the 800-pound gorilla that's in this room.
Jess: It's elephant in the room. 800-pound gorilla is a different thing.
Nick: Okay, I guess I have to address the 800-pound elephant that's in the middle of the room.
Reagan: It's just elephant. The 800 pounds, that goes with the gorilla thing.
Jess: 800 pounds is not a very big elephant.

Nick: [answers phone] Hey, I was just about to call you.
Reagan: Nick, look, there's something that I wish I would've said to you last night, but I didn't, so I'm gonna say it right now. Sayonara, Sammy.
Nick: [to himself] Those are such beautiful words. I'm Sammy. [clears throat]
Reagan: Hello?
Nick: Reagan... I'm gonna need some time to process everything you just said.
Reagan: Yeah. I really put myself out there.
Nick: Yeah. I... Hey... in light of recent events, I think it's important that we have each other's current information. Reagan: I mean, I know I have your phone number because I just dialed it and I have your address because I lived there. 'Cause Jess said it on TV. I've got a flight to catch.
Nick: Me, too.
Reagan: Bye, Nick.

Jess: Winston's weekly letters. 90% redacted, but still full of news. "I'll leave you with my thoughts on the trial." Big black line, big black line.
Winston: They redacted that stuff?
Jess: Big black line. "LOL." Big black line. "Gotta go, or I'll be late for my first dance class."
Winston: You know, actually the dance class has become more of a dance gathering.
Cece: You know what, maybe Schmidt and I will join you, because the wedding is almost here, and we have to work on our first dance.
Winston: Come. I mean, you know, two more referrals and I get to have my birthday party there.

Nick: Jess! Reagan and I were romantic together.
Jess: Ooh. I didn't know that.
Nick: Which means I've been romantic with both of you.
Jess: Cool.
Nick: And it's not just because you have brown hair and you've shared this room. But because you're great, top-shelf ladies. And I had the opportunity, and so I reached in the cookie jar, and I grabbed a chocolate chip and an oatmeal. And I'm not saying who's who. [sighs] I've gotten off-track. Your worlds must be turned absolutely upside down. This must be devastating, as it is to me. We're all feeling emotions we couldn't even begin to discuss. A lot of us are having bad anxiety, and our legs are feeling weird and tingly.

Reagan: What was wrong with him?
Jess: He never got why Bunt v. Che was a relevant precedent. Also he wheezed... a lot. Like the door of a haunted house.
Reagan: He has asthma. We can find that guy and see if he knows anything. I used to peddle inhalers. What color was his?
Jess: Oh, uh... red. Like the door of a haunted house! Sorry. [laughs] The only group excursion we took was to a haunted house. By the way, if you like haunted houses but hate lines, January's a great time to go...

Nick: No way it's him!
Winston: Whoa...
Nick: What are the odds?
Schmidt: Well, exactly one in 11, Nick.

Winston: Man, they sound like Cookie Monster's parents.

Jess: Gah! What are you doing here?
Nick: Well, it's been six weeks since we've talked and I was ready to talk. You and Gary looked great on television.
Jess: [sighs] Well, that's how I want you to remember us: Blurry and talking like Zuul.
Nick: Well, then, mission accomplished?