Holly: Are you lying to me? I really hate being lied to.
Schmidt: I would never lie to you. I haven't lied to you this whole time we've been in this loft ... that's a fact. Cece, uh... Hey. ...please tell me, in front of Holly, how much you still love me.
Shivrang: I'm sorry. Is this why we came here?
Schmidt: Please, I don't really know what that accent is.
Cece: English.
Schmidt: I speak English. That didn't sound like English.

Winston: I don't know how to talk to women. Reason being, I feel like you all think that I just want one thing from you.
Daisy: Mm-hmm.
Winston: I want the one thing. But a bunch of other th... can a man just want all the things? I mean, damn.
Daisy: I like a challenge. And you are one big challenge. I'm Daisy.
Winston: Winston.

Winston: First of all, Nick, it is not your coat.
Nick: True, it was delivered to the wrong address. But then tell me, why does it fit like a damn glove?
Winston: What is happening to you, man?
Nick: I don't know if I can give up looking this damn good ...
Jess: It's someone else's woman's coat.

Schmidt: I like this feeling, you guys. I'm liking the vibe that we got going here. There's definitely gonna be some sex-having tonight.
Nick: Oh, yeah...
Winston: Damn it, there needs to be. You know I haven't had sex since Labor Day? I know what the problem is ... I want it too bad.
[flashback:]
Woman: So, what's your name?
Winston: Winst... W-W-W... yeah.

Schmidt: You just need a confidence boost. Good news ... I'm lousy with the stuff I got your back tonight. And you, London Fog, you're looking hot to trot, baby. Any chance you're gonna take that coat off?
Nick: This jacket? No way. I'm keeping the jacket on.
Winston: Take the jacket off.
Nick: No, I'm keeping the jacket on.
Schmidt: No, it's fine. Band of brothers.

Schmidt: I can't believe you got us kicked out of the discotheque, Nick.
Nick: I didn't even do anything.
Winston: Damn it, Nick, take the coat off, all right? It freaks girls out.
Nick: Well, maybe they're freaked out 'cause you're not wearing a trench coat. Yeah? Have you ever thought of that?

Jess: [talking in slow motion] I do it for Kenya. Silver?! Damn you, Zimbabwe.

Holly: Nice coat you got there.
Nick: Well, I just actually wear it 'cause it gives me confidence.
Holly: That's kind of sad.
Schmidt: You know what's really sad is that he stole the jacket.
Nick: It's not technically stealing.
Schmidt: He's still reeling from being dumped.
Holly: Aw.
Schmidt: He's attached to it. Like a little bitch "bwanky."
Nick: It's not like a blanky, dude.
Schmidt: It looks like a "bwanky."
Nick: It's not like my "bwanky."

Nick: Jess, this loft has old pipes. I've told you that a million times, but you never listen during pipe talk.
Jess: Well, pipe talk's boring.

Nick: What is this?
Jess: What is what...?
Nick: You drew my face on a melon?
Jess: What else was I supposed to draw your face on?
Nick: Nothing. Don't draw my face.
Jess: Okay.
Nick: Jess, for some reason, that girl out there, she is sexually aroused by other people's misery. Do you understand the position that puts me in?
Jess: It puts you in a really good position?
Nick: It really does.